The Truth
by Gotcha1234
Summary: Bella left forks 15 years ago after Jacob imprinted, but she never told him why. Now it's time for her to go back.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Going Back

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This is my first fanfiction (but not my first chapter)! Please review to tell me what you think of the new changes!

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Special thanks to HohoCullen and HopingForLove for all of their awesome editing skills to make this story much better than it was when I started!

I'm finally going home. I've been dreading this day for fifteen years but I knew it would come. Today is the day that I finally have to go back to Forks, WA and face what I left behind so many years ago. Now that I had the strength to face _him_ again, the only thing left for me to do was buy plan tickets, but of course, Alice being the spendthrift that she is purchased them for me before I was even able to get the sentence out of my mouth.

_Flashback_

_I parked in front of Jake's house. He must have heard me slam my truck door because he was standing in front of me in a matter of seconds. He looked upset like he was about to give me the worst news of my life. I tried not to pay attention to it. I had to tell him that I was pregnant._

"_Hey Jake, I have to talk to you about something."_

"_O__K, but there's something I have to tell you first. Let's go for a walk on the beach." His face was full of fear and regret, two things that I have never seen him express openly._

"_So, what did you want to tell me Jake."_

"_I imprinted Bella."_

"_Wha-what, that can't be true, are you sure Jake?"_

"_I'm sorry Bella, I really am."_

_I left him standing alone, I had to get away from him. I couldn't stay in Forks. If I stayed here I'd screw up his life more than I would if I left with his child. Oh god, what if my child phases. Shit this is not good one day I will have to come back._

_End of Flashback_

"Earth to mom, we've landed!"

"Sorry Cass I was just thinking."

When I look at my daughter Cassidy I can barely see myself, and none of her father at all. She has peach colored skin, darker than mine but paler than Jake's. She has my chocolate brown eyes, and is much less clumsier than me. When she was younger, I began to doubt if she was mine and Jake's child. Cassie has the most amazing voice I have ever heard, and I'm not just saying that because I'm her mother, she really does. The only thing she has in common with Jake is her personality. She is outgoing and carefree, just like her father.

The only reason I'm coming back is that she might phase and I don't think one human and two vampires will help. Alice and Jasper had been living with Cassie and I since she was born. When Cassie was 5 I finished my EdD in English Lit and we moved farther north to Maryland. Cassie started singing a year before we moved. She tried her best to get good grades but she was a rebel at heart which I didn't realize until our next move. When she turned 11 we moved to Boston where Cassie started doing major musicals and entering small competitions. She loved performing on stage. By the time she turned 13, she stopped asking who her father was because I would always change the subject or give some vague answer. When she began to feel sick and had a high fever, I decided it was time to take her to Forks.

When I left I told Charlie I was pregnant and asked him not to tell anyone. When I called to tell him that I was coming home, I learned that he and Sue had recently got married and were moving to her house on the reservation. He said that he hadn't put his house on the market yet, so Cassie and I could stay there until we got our lives' straightened out. I've already enrolled Cass at the school on the reservation and to make up for leaving Boston so abruptly; I entered her in a competition in Seattle. She was still upset about leaving but she did thank me.

Now that we are here I wish I could get on another plane back to Boston. Its not that I don't want to see my friends who I left behind, its just that I'm afraid of what they will think of me.

I see Charlie and Sue standing several yards in front of me. Cassie hasn't seen him for 3 years but she remembers what he looks like. As soon as she saw him she ran up and hugged him. I walk over to them while Charlie introduced Cassie to Sue.

"Welcome home Bella," said Charlie and Sue. That did it, I ran to my dad and hugged him.

"I've missed you so much Bella."

"I've missed you too dad."

Cassie talked nonstop the whole way home to Charlie and Sue about what had happened since Charlie's last visit. While they talked, I stared out the window, looking at the small town I'd left fifteen years ago. Charlie and Sue dropped us off at my old house. They hadn't stocked the fridge so they invited us over for dinner. I had to agree; I knew that Cassie would be hungry because she never stopped eating.

I inspected the house. Nothing had changed since I'd left. The same curtains were hanging, the same couch and dinning room table were there. Cass and I agreed that she could have my old room and I would stay in Charlie's.

Even though its' been fifteen years, I remembered the way to Sue's house. Charlie thought it would be great to invite Billy over dinner. At the moment he was probably the third to last person I wanted to see. When I introduced him to Cassidy he was honestly surprised that I had a daughter. Thankfully there was no suspicion on his face that Jake was Cassie's father. We talked for several hours after dinner about what Cassie had been doing and where we had been living. Thankfully no one made any reference to Jacob or the pack. I could not handle talking about him tonight.

Cassie didn't talk much on the way home. I think she was too tired from talking with Sue, Billy, and Charlie. When we arrived at home we went straight to bed. We were so exhausted from our long day of travel.

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So obviously this is not a new chapter. I have recently joined Project Team Beta and I'm reposting the story! Review to comment on the changes!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Old and New Faces

_3 Months Later/November_

_BPOV_

It didn't take long to get settled into our house. We didn't bring much. Just clothes, our laptops, CD's, and videos of Cassie singing. Luckily, Jake and the rest of the pack have not found out that I have moved back. Alice and Jasper are traveling the world _again_, but last week I got a disturbing call from Alice. She said that the rest of the family was moving back to Forks. Only Jasper and Alice know about Cassidy's existence. The rest of the Cullens would be arriving today, but Alice didn't say what time Edward was going to pay me a visit.

Right now I'm sitting at my desk with my laptop typing an English test for my seniors at Forks High. Then I heard a knock at the door.

_Am I ready to see him again?_

_CPOV_

"Can you get the door Cass?" called Mom from her bedroom.

"Sure!"

I had been making a rough sketch of a photograph Aunt Alice and Uncle Jasper sent me from Sweden. When I opened the door, I saw some guy there; He couldn't have been older than 17. He must be one of mom's students; though, the fact that he has our address is a bit creepy . He has the same pale skin tone that Alice and Jasper have and golden eyes with ashy brown hair.

"Hi, can I help you?" I gave him a thorough look over as I spoke.

"Is Bella here?"

", there's someone here to see you," I shouted to her.

I turned back to the guy at the door; he looked like he had been slapped in the face unexpectedly.

"Can I come in?"

"Sure, she'll be down in a sec."

One minute later, my mom came slowly down the steps looking like she was dreading every step.

"Cassie, can you sketch upstairs?"

"Sure, mom."

_BPOV_

Once I heard Cassie's door creak shut I started to talk.

"Hh-hi, Edward," I mumbled; avoiding eye contact.

"Hello Bella. I assume that was your daughter."

"Yes, that's Cassidy."

"Alice and Jasper did a good job of hiding their thoughts from me."

"Yeah, they've been staying with Cass and I since she was born,"

"Where is her father?"

"I don't live with him. I haven't seen him for a while."

He looked suspicious, but accepted my story and questioned me no further.

"How old is Cassidy?"

"She turned 15 several months ago."

He looked out the window and seemed to have a sudden mood change.

"Sorry, Bella, I have to leave. Can we talk again tomorrow?"

"Sure."

I walked him to the door in silence. _Why did he have to leave so suddenly? What did he see outside that disturbed him? I guess I'd have to wait till tomorrow to answer these questions._

_CPOV_

I guess this guy wasn't one of mom's students. He looked too young to remember from when she lived here. He would have been about two. I guess I'll just have to ask her. I walked gingerly down the stairs to my mom who was still standing by the door. She looked like she was in shock but relieved at the same time.

"Who was that, mom?"

"Just an old friend."

"Seriously mom, he looked like he was seventeen!"

"He always has looked a lot younger than he really is."

"So, who was he?"

"His name is Edward, we dated in high school."

"Is he my father?"

"Why don't you go work some more on that sketch."

"Ok mom."

Why did I even ask? She never answers me so why did I try asking again? Was this the reason we came back to Forks? For me to meet him. Mom always said that I never looked anything like my father. She said that the only thing he and I had in common was our personality. She also said that neither of them could sing which I don't understand because people tell me I have an amazing voice. I've been in musicals and have won competitions. Speaking of competitions, I should probably choose my ensemble for the competition in Seattle. There will be four rounds. I will be singing _Forever and Always_, mom says it's the story of her life, _U + Ur Hand_, _Fame_, and _A Thousand Miles_.

"There, finished," I proclaimed as I finished shading in the hazy background.

After I put away my sketch, I put my headphones on and checked my email. I had a new message from my best friend Mellie. She asked me when I wanted to work on our project for history class. We were told to design a poster and write a short paper on the Greek creation story. I told her that I could work with her Wednesday evening at her house.

"Dinner, Cass!"

"Coming, mom!"

_Yay, we were having salmon with tomatoes and basil._

"Mom is it okay if I go to Mellie's house on Wednesday evening to work on a project?"

"Sure hon, just be home before 10:30."

"Thanks mom. I've chosen what I will sing for the competition in Seattle, and I have to get instructions to the concert house for rehearsal next Saturday. Mom, was the guy who was here related to Alice and Jasper?"

"Yes, but they haven't seen each other for several years. What made you think they were related?"

"Well, they have the same skin color and the same color eyes, and you said the Alice and Jaz were from Forks."

After dinner we watched our favorite movie, _Titanic._ Mom always cries at the end, but I think it had a happy ending. Rose got to go back to Jack and everyone else who died on the boat, in theory. My Mom stayed up that night reading a book, but probably only read 5 pages because she kept looking out the window in the blackness of the night.


	3. Chapter 3

Your Face

Chapter 3

a/n: ok guys here's chap 3! I will post chap 4 tonight if I get at least 5 more reviews, they can be good/bad/ugly! And I will introduce Jake's imprint in the nxt chap so plz plz r/r! Thanx

_BPOV_

"Bella, you're going to have to tell him soon."

"No I don't. He never has to know."

"He has the right to know; you left so abruptly, without any answers."

"Fine dad."

"Good. I love you Bella."

"I love you too. Will you tell Jake that I'm home?"

"Fine Bella, but you owe me!"

"Thanks dad. Bye!"

Finally! I had been on the phone with him for 2hrs, arguing about telling Jake that I was here. I've been so worried about confronting him. Thankfully, I haven't seen anyone from the pack. I'll introduce him to Cass, but I won't tell him that she is his daughter just yet. I don't want screw up his and his imprint's life, and especially not Cassidy's. Maybe he won't care that I came back. Maybe he won't call or visit. If he doesn't, I'll be home free.

_CPOV_

I'm going over to Mell's this evening. Fuck! I forgot to ask her where she lives. I know that she lives on the rez, but I don't know the address. I don't know a lot about her accept that he grew up in the house she is living in now, her parents have known each other since they were teens, and she has an older brother. I know he's a junior, but I can't remember his name. I think it starts with J.

I'm sitting at the kitchen table working on my pre-cal homework. I just finished problem #33 when I heard a knock at the door. There was a guy standing there looking like he had just run a marathon. He looked about 25-26ish. He was about 6.9, probably over 7ft. He had copper skin and jet black hair, and the best chest I have ever seen on a guy. Again he had no car like mom's other old "friend." What kind of town am I living in?

"Can I help you?"

"Yeah, is Bella here?"

"Yep, just a sec. Mom, someone's here to see you. Will you come in?"

"Oh, sure. My name is Jake by the way."

"I'm Cassidy. So how do you know my mom?"

"We're old friends."

"Oh, well I have to finish my pre-cal homework."

"k."

I slowly ascended the stairs and shut my door.

_BPOV_

I have been dreading this moment for the past 15 years of my life. The moment I would have to face Jake again. Once I heard Cassie shut her door, I descended the stairs. Jake looked even more beautiful then I had remembered him to be. His hair was short and cropped. He was wearing cargo shorts and had the same gorgeous chest I remembered from so many years ago. He looked up at me as though he had been blind and was seeing the sun for the first time.

Okay I know this is short but you have to earn chapter 4!I only need 5 r/r's. Jake's imprint will o be put into chap 5.I already finished chap 4 so the faster you review the faster I will update!


	4. Chapter 4

Why Did You

Chapter 4

here's 4 like I promised! I own nothing, but I wish I owned Jake!

_BPOV_

"Hh-hi Jake," I stuttered.

"Hey Bells."

I wanted to run to him and have him hold me in his arms forever. Then I noticed he was wearing a wedding ring. Clearly he noticed I was staring at it because he quickly removed his hand from the banister. Against my better judgement, I bounded down the stairs and into his arms. He didn't let me go. He just stood there with his arms wrapped around me. I felt completely at peace.

"I missed you Bells."

"I missed you to Jake."

I guided him to the living room and sat down on a chair across from the couch.

"Why did you leave Bells?"

"You imprinted Jake and I didn't want to screw up your life more than I already had."

"You could've called Bells to tell me why you had to leave."

"Jake, I didn't want to be hurt, I felt like I was being left again."

"Bella, I told you I would never leave you."

"Yeah, but you also said you would never imprint, or you would fight it, but judging by the ring on your hand you didn't fight very hard."

"Bells, when you left I refused to talk to anyone for weeks. He only person I could confide in was Seth. I didn't run to my imprint for help."

"That doesn't mean anything Jake."

"Bells, I didn't come here to argue. Can we please talk about something else?"

"Fine."

"So, where's your husband?"

"I'm not married Jake."

"So then-oh-okay. Is she your only child?"

"Yep, the one and only."

"So I take it you haven't stopped phasing yet."

"Yeah, I'm thinking about stopping soon, but Sam is advising me not to."

"Oh."

"Mom," I heard Cassie call.

_CPOV_

"Mom, I have Mell's address so I need a ride over now."

"What's her address?"

"..."

"I know Melanie, she lives up the road from me, I can take you over to her place if its ok with your mom."(a/n:ignore the part in the last chapter where I say that Jake ddn't bring a car!)

"Thanks Jake. Remember Cass, home by 10:30."

"Ok, Cass says that her mother can drive me home."

Jake had a Volkswagen Rabbit. It was in pretty good condition.

"So how do you know Mell?"

"We go to school together and we are working on a project together."

"Cool."

We sat in silence for several minutes. All of a sudden, I saw the flash of bright red curls fly past my window.

"Shit," Jake shouted as he swerved to avoid hitting whatever had passed us.

"Ah, what the hell was that?"

"I don't know but whatever it was, its gone now."

I could tell he was bluffing. He had his face scrunched up and his eyes were red with fury.

"Mind if we stop at my place first, I have to check something?"

"No problem."

Jake's house was small, but seemed cozy form the outside. When we got in I could smell grilled chicken cooking. There was a medium hight women hovering over the counter. She has long black hair, light copper skin, and hazel eyes.

"Who is this Jake?" she asked as he walked in the door.

"Oh, this is Cassidy. I'm dropping her off at Sam's, but I had to stop here first.

Once Jake left the room, the woman introduced herself.

"Hi, I'm Natalie, Jake's wife."

"Nice to meet you."

"So, how do you know Jake?"

"I think he and my mom were old friends, and when he visited our house today, he offered to give me a ride a to Mellie's house."

"Oh, so you and your parents just moved here."

"Just me and my mom, I don't know who my father is, but I know that he lived here on the rez or in Forks."

"Well, I hope you find each other somehow."

"Thanks."

"Ready to go Cass?"

"Yep."

Here's chap 4 guys! Next you'll get to meet Mellie and the rest of her family! r/r please!


	5. Chapter 5

Who Are You

Chapter 5

Ok guys chap 5 is going to be longer than the last two! I might post tomorrow morning but if I don't I won't post again till friday afternoon:( :(

In this chap we learn more about Cassie's past and a bit of the original pack!

_CPOV_

Mellie's house was small, but a lot bigger than Jake's. I think his wife had some problem with me. She looked at me as if I were a threat. When I knocked on the door, Mellie immediately answered it.

"Hey Cass, have trouble finding my house?"

"No, some guy named Jake gave me a ride."

"You know Jake? How?"

"Well, he stopped by my house this afternoon and asked to speak with my mom."

"How does he know your mom? I thought you just moved here?"

"My mom lived in Forks during her junior and senior years."

"Wait, Jake didn't go to Forks High."

"I think hey knew each other because her dad and his dad are friends."

"Oh, when did you say your mom left?"

"She went to Jacksonville in July, the year before I was born."

"My brother was born several months earlier. What did you say your mom's name was?"

"Bella Swan."

"I heard my parents talking about her when I was little. I can't remember what the conversation was about though. So do you want to meet my parents?"

"Sure!"

Mellie walked towards the kitchen. There was a woman reading a cookbook. She looked much like Jake's wife, except when she looked up, I noticed scars on the side of her face. She kinda looked like the Phantom of the Opera.

"Mom this is Cassie, Cassie this is mom."

"Nice to meet you Mrs. Uley."

"Just call me Emily. Where are you two going to work?"

"In my room."

"Ok, dinner should be ready in 30min. Your dad and your brother will be late tonight so we'll start without them."

"I hope you made enough mom, 'cause Cassie eats almost as much as they do."

"I doubt that!"

"You'll see. Come on Cass my room is this way."

"She guided me up the stairs and on the left side was her bedroom. It had a lavender ceiling and two of the walls were a sunny, yellow color. Her bed had a blue and green comforter and was on the left wall. She had a black desk with many drawers. Pictures covered her walls.

"Okay, lets get to work."

_30 Min Later_

"So Cassie, Mellie was telling me that you just moved up her, what made your parents want to move to Forks?"

"It was just my mom and I who moved up here, I've never met my father. I think my mom just missed Forks, so she decided that she wanted move back."

"Your mother used to live here? What was her name?"

"Bella Swan."

She stopped in midair and looked up at me.

"Bella is back?"

"I guess you knew my mom too."

"She has been getting visits from people who don't even look her age."

"Who were they?"

"Umm, there was a guy who was really really pale. I think he had the skin tone as my aunt and uncle. He looked about 17. The other guy was Jake, but he looks like he's 25 not 33."

"I used to be good friends with your mom. It shocked us when she left."

"Who's us?"

"There was a group of friends back then my husband and Jake were both part of it."

"Wait, so my mom just up and left?"

"Pretty much. Charlie wouldn't tell us where she went or why she left. Jake was devastated. Her leaving had the greatest affect on him more than anyone else. He had a hard time forgetting her. They had been friends since they were toddlers."

"I didn't know they were that close. When he came over she tried to brush him of but ended up breaking down instead. Do you have any idea who your father is Cassie?"

"No. Anytime I ever asked my mom about him she would change the subject."

"Maybe she wanted to wait to tell you?"

"We should probably get back to work Cass."

"Ok."

"Thanks for the ride Emily!"

"No problem, hey Cassidy!"

"There's a bonfire at the beach on Saturday you and your mom should come."

"I'll ask her."

"I'm home mom!"

"Hey Cass, how was it?"

"It was great! Mellie's mom is an excellent cook. She also invited us to a bonfire on Saturday, can we go?"

"I don't know Cass..."

"Please mom, can I at least go?"

"Fine Cass."

"Thanks. Mom, why are you so afraid of seeing your old friends from the rez?"

"How did you know I had friends on the rez?"

"Mellie's mom told me."

"What is her mother's name?"

"Emily Uley."

"Oh my god! I guess I have to go to that party, she'll tell everybody I'm back, and if I don't we'll have and angry mob at our door."

"G'night mom!"

"'Night Cassidy."

I trudged up to my room and shut the door. When I had my pjs on I sat on my bed put in my headphones and started sketching Mellie's house.

So what do ya think? Please please r/r! Chap 6 might be 2 parts because Bella has to reacquaint herself with the former pack members!

Lots of love

-Lyd


	6. Chapter 6

Together Again

Chapter 6

Here's chap 6, sorry I haven't updated, I've been swamped with work! Not sure when I'll get chap 7 up. If I get enough reviews I will update sooner!

Sry guys I had h1n1 and bacterial pneumonia! Had to go to the hospital then I was on bed rest! Been out of school fr 7days! Yipee!

_BPOV_

Oh God! Why did I agree to this? I don't want to see the pack, I don't want to see anyone! I can't believe Emily told Cassidy about my past. I never wanted her to know about my friends on the rez or in the whole state for that matter. I guess I'll just have to grin and bear it.

I decided to bring cherry pie. I baked 4 because I don't know how many are in the pack these days. I wore jeans, a loose pink blouse, and a brown canvas jacket. The ride to La Push was quiet. I'll never forgive her for dragging me into this. By the time we got there, the fire was already started. Emily was the first to see us. She ran up to us and hugged me. When she let go, all faces were on me and Cass.

"Bella?" the first to speak was a not so young Seth.

_CPOV_

I laid out my clothes before I got into the shower. I decided to wear my new cutoffs with a purple tank top, flip-flops, and a black zip-up jacket. By the time I finished my I shower, I smelled of lemon verbena and coconut. I let my hair fall freely on my shoulders and ran my hand through the roots. I gave myself a smokey eye, applied my favorite lip gloss, Tuti Fruiti, and painted my nails Strawberry Electric.

On the way to La Push, I barley talked to mom. She refused to make any gesture that she wanted to talk, so I just stared out the window. The fire had already started and the beach was packed. When Mell's mom greeted us, all the adults went silent. The first person to say something was a guy who looked no more than 21.

"Bella?" he said.

_BPOV_

When Seth said my name I smiled timidly. What happened next I was completely unprepared for. Leah ran up and hugged me. She actually looked happy to see me. What the hell was wrong with her? What happened to the bitchy Leah I knew and loved? Everyone else just stared. I'm not sure is they were surprised at my return or the fact that Leah was happy to see me.

"Well, aren't you guys gonna greet the girl?"

That did it. Everyone I knew from fifteen years ago acted like they had just won the lottery. I was flooded with questions. Where have you been? When did you come back? Where are you staying? No one seemed to notice Cassie standing beside me.

"Hold it guys,"I shouted, "I want you to meet my daughter Cassidy."

For a second, everyone looked at me as if I had told them I hadn't been to the ER in 13 years(a/n:haha just left there). The first to speak was Leah.

"Well Bella, where is your husband?"

"I'm not married Leah."

After I said that I felt like I had been welcomed back. Leak took Cassie and I over to a log and updated us on pack happenings.

I knew Sam and Emily had two kids, Melanie and her older brother who was born a week after I left. Kim and Jared got married a year later and now have two boys, Dylan and Caden, and one girl, Mabyn. Paul imprinted on Jake's sister Rachael and they have three girls, Ariadne, Inesa, and Larissa. Quil had recently married Claire. Seth imprinted on one of Leah's childhood friends visiting from out-of-state and they have two boys, Kalle and Audric, and one girl, Allete. Embry also imprinted on Karen, one of Paul's cousins who was visiting the rez. They had a girl and a boy, Drew and Calan. Collin imprinted shortly after I left and he and Delanie wasted no time. They had their first two kids, Edeline and Garrin, before they even considered marriage. They recently had another son named Koby. Brady and Sasha had the most children. Angus, Kean, and the twins Leena and Liam. Leah had also imprinted and against all odds had a beautiful baby girl named Monica.

Later that night, Jake came and I finally got a glimpse of his wife. Leah informed that her name was Natalie and she was a cold-hearted bitch. Natalie was gorgeous. Even Rosalie couldn't compare to her. The only person who could outshine her would be Cass, who clearly wasn't having any trouble meeting people 'cause she was surrounded by six guys.

When Natalie entered I could see disgust on the faces of people around me, especially Leah. She looked like she was about to rip Natalie's head off. Natalie looked around with a five star smile on her face but when her eyes landed on Cass, her eyes were full of disdain. If I could I would punch her in the face for that look, but Jake would probably stop me before I got the chance.

"Bella?" Jake questioned. At first he looked confused , but then he smiled? Why did I have to be so addicted to that smile? The smile that brought me out of my dark depression, and I couldn't help but smile back. That's when Natalie's face turned to me, accept this time with jealousy and anger. Now Leah looked like she was going to attack. Luckily my daughter, always with perfect timing, intervened.

_CPOV_

"Hey Jake, Hey Natalie," I called. Why was everyone so quiet? They both smiled; Jake's was genuine, while Natalie's covered envy and scorn. WTF was her problem? They didn't get the kind od greeting mom and I got. Most people just waved or murmured Hi.

At about 11:30, mom said it was time to go. Wile we were leaving I saw a guy coming out of the forest. He was in jeans. His chest and arms were perfectly sculpted. His hair was cropped off. When he saw me he stopped in his tracks. He stared deeply into my eyes. He saw straight through my facade and saw the real me, the one I've tried to hide for so long. He made my knees weak and my blood boil. In that moment it was just me and him standing on that beach. I've never believed in love at first sight, but I think I do now.

_?POV_

I can't believe Jake made me miss the bonfire! He had me running patrol 'cause there was an old bloodsucker back in town. I looked down as I emerged from the forest. When I looked up I saw the most beautiful girl on the planet. Her auburn hair seemed to float on her shoulders. She was wearing a sweatshirt and jean shorts. She had the most beautiful eyes that I got completely lost in.

I don't know how long I stared at her, but I needed to run. I took off back into the woods. After about two hours, I decided to head home. Mom and dad were sitting in the kitchen talking and my sister was sitting on the couch reading another one of her stupid books.

"Mom, dad, guess what? I imprinted!"

"Congrats son," dad said.

When mom asked what her name was I paused. Shit! I had no clue what her name was.

"I actually don't know."

"Ha, nice going idiot." laughed my sister.

"Melanie," mom warned.

Tonight had to be the best night of my life.

Need reviews asap if I get 10 I'll update tomorrow!.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Him

Hey guys sorry I didn't update earlier this morning, my mom forgot to tell me about a doctors appointment this morning!

Enjoy

_CPOV_

The bonfire was awesome! Melanie introduced me to a lot of her friends on the rez. Most are younger than us, but only by a year or two. She also introduced me to all of the guys. They are all so hot! Mell says none of them workout, I really don't think that's possible though.

Jake seems like a nice guy, but that wife of his is a major bitch, and apparently, most of the people there agreed with me. Mell told me that Jake's ex left when she found out about Natalie. Jake and his ex had been close friends before they started going out. I guess she couldn't see him anymore if that bitch was clinging to his arm. Why did Natalie stare at me like that? She looked at me like I was trying to steal her husband.

I woke up to the sound of bickering in the living room. I slept in boxer shorts and a sports bra, so I put on a robe just in case. As I neared the stairs, I recognized my mom and Jake's voices. What was he doing here at this hour?

"Bella she's back, you have to believe me," he shouted. Who's back?

"How can you know Jake?" mom asked. Clearly she was frustrated.

"Because she almost ran me and Cassidy off the road when I was bringing her to Mell's."

"God! Now she's after Cass? Will she ever leave me alone?" mom was sobbing now.

"Shhh Bella, its ok."

"No Jacob its not. My daughter could be killed wherever she goes!"

"I know Bella, that's why I'm asking Sam's son to ride with her to and from school."

That was it. I came flying down the stairs.

"I'm not a baby, I don't need a bodyguard, I can take care of myself!"

Both were dumbfounded by my outburst.

"Cassie, how much did you hear?" mom asked.

"Not much. What's going on here?"

"Someone from my past has come back. She still has a grudge against me and now she's coming after you."

"Ok, I understand," I said.

Mom just stared. Jake laughed uncomfortably.

"Just like her mother, nothing scares her," he grinned.

We were silent for what felt like forever.

"So, I'm gonna get ready for school."

I marched up the stairs. Damn! I don't have much time. Ok Cassie, think. Skinny jeans, 'I love NY' tee, ballet flats, black cardigan, bangles, peace necklace, clover earrings. Ready to go. I grabbed my backpack and darted downstairs. Mom was cooking. Pancakes, bacon, hash browns, and orange juice. She only made this breakfast when we had company. Jake was at the table, but there was someone else. OMG the guy from the bonfire.

"Cass, this is Jesse, Melanie's brother."

"Oh hi, so you're taking me to school?"

"That's the plan."

I smiled my "I'm-not-so-sure-about-this-but-let's-have-some-fun-with-it" smile. He seemed pretty confidant in himself. We took his car to school. That's when the q's came flying at me.

"So Cassie, where are you from?"

"Jacksonville, Hyattsville, and Boston. Mom and I moved around a lot."

"Wow! I've never left WA."

"Seriously, you have to get out more. I traveled a lot because my sining too."

"You sing?"

"Yeah."

"Will you sing for me?"

"Sure, what do you want me to sing?"

"Surprise me," he grinned.

_I don't know if I can yell any louder_

_How many times have I kicked you out of here_

_Or said something insulting_

_I can be so mean when I wanna be_

_I am capable of really anything_

_I can cut you into pieces, when my heart is_

_Broken_

_Please don't leave me_

_Please don't leave me_

_I always say how I don't need you_

_But its always gonna come right back to this_

_Please don't leave me_

_-Please Don't Leave Me_

_-P!nk_

I smiled my 'oh-so-sexy' smile while I sang. It always won the judges over and I felt more comfortable looking sexy instead of sweet.

"Wow, that was amazing, how long have you been singing?"

"Since I was 3 or 4. Strange thing is my mom is an awful singer and she said my dad was too."

"Do you have any idea who your father is?"

"Nope, none. I think he might be from the area though. I was looking at photos of me when I was several days old. They were dated 3 months before the date on my birth certificate. I think my mom is desperate to keep my father and I away from each other.

"Well if you need help looking for him let me know. Hey, my friends and I are going cliff diving tomorrow, wanna come?"

"Sure! Will you pick me up or..."

"I'll drop by around 10ish?"

"Awesome, I'll meet you here at the end of the day."

He is so hot! I don't know if I should tell Mell that I'm crushing on her brother though. Maybe she'll understand? What am I thinking, she'd go crazy. When I walked in the building, she was leaning against my locker, glaring at me.

"Hey Mell!"

"Ok, why the HELL did you just get out of my brother's car?"

"He gave me a ride."

"Ok, tell the truth, are you Cassidy, crushing on my brother?"

"Yeah, kinda."

"Ok, he likes you too btw."

"Seriously, how do you know, I just met him today?"

"He told me after the bonfire. Of course the idiot didn't get your name so I teased him about that, but then he started describing you, and I quickly realized that my brother was in love with my best friend. What is this world coming to?"

"He invited me to go cliff diving tomorrow, are you coming?"

"Yeah, of course, cliff diving is a event around here, not just something to do when your bored. Oh, and don't let my brother know that I told him about the whole 'liking you thing' cause I think he's planing on telling you tomorrow."

"K, I'll wait for him to tell me."

Just then the bell rang for first hour.

Hope you like it, I might get chapter 8 up today!


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Love Found

ok guys here's chapter 8! Bot sure if i'll post tomorrow!

_CPOV_

When I came out to the parking lot, Jesse was waiting for me. He told me that after cliff diving we would have a party on the beach. He also said that there was something he wanted to tell me after cliff diving.

"Thanks for the Jesse, see you tomorrow!"

"See ya!"

When I got inside the house, mom was sitting at the kitchen table grading papers.

"Hey mom, Jesse invited me to go cliff diving with him and some friends tomorrow, its ok if I go, right?"

"I don't know Cassidy."

"Please mom. I'l be fine."

"Cass, when I went cliff diving for the first time, I almost drowned. Of course I did it alone but..."

"See mom you didn't have anyone to show you, but I will."

"Fine Cass. But please, please be careful."

"I will mom, you worry too much."

The rest of the night was quiet. W e had bean and cheese burritos and watched Australia after we ate. We made our way upstairs around 1:30. I was exhausted. Mom looked tired as well. She had only finished grading half of her papers. She's gonna be cranky in the morning.

When I woke up, it was already 9:15. I jumped out of bed and searched for my swimming suit. I wore my brown and white flower suit with my UMD shorts and a hoodie. I went down stairs and put some frozen waffles in the toaster. Mom trudged down the stairs. Her hair was in knots and she had dark bags under her eyes. If I hadn't been prepared for this I might have had a heart attack.

"Hey mom, get any rest?"

"None."

"You should sleep today, you've been overworking yourself."

Just then, I heard Jess's car pull up.

"I'm not sure what time I'll be home so I'll call you when I find out."

"Ok, just get home before 12:00."

I walked out to Jesse's car. He only had a pair of cargos on.

"Hey beautiful."

"Good morning to you too."

"Everyone's gonna meet us at the cliffs."

Jesse asked me if I would sing at the party tonight. I agreed as long as I got to choose the song, so I chose _Suddenly I See_. When we arrived, Mell was talking with Edeline and Inesa. Ariadne was flirting with Dylan. Mabyn and Drew were lounging by the edge of the cliff.

"Which level do you want to jump from Cass?" Jesse asked.

"Highest level of course."

"I don't know Cass..."

"I'll be fine."

We all lined up on the edge of the cliff. Jesse told me not to let go of his hand no matter what happened. On the count of three, we all jumped. I was free falling, but my decent into the water was excruciating. It felt like I was being stabbed by a thousand knives. Jesse squeezed my hand just before we hit the water. The swim to the top took ages. Jesse helped me, but it still tired me out. I gasped when we reached the surface."

"Wow, that was a rush."

"Did you have fun Cass?"

"Definitely."

Once I got to shore, I was officially freezing.

"Are you cold Cassidy?"

"Freezing."

He grabbed a towel and wrapped it around me. He sat be down against a log a little ways from the group and wrapped his arms around me. I never noticed it before, but his skin was hotter than most peoples. I leaned into his chest and sighed. He made me feel safe, nothing could touch me.

"Cassie, there's something I want to tell you."

He paused as if he was waiting for my permission.

"Go ahead Jesse."

"I love you Cassie."

"I love you too Jesse."

"You do?"

"Yeah."

I turned in his arms to face him. I placed my hands on his shoulders. He placed his hand on my cheek and brushed a hair away from eyes.

"There's something else I have to tell you."

"What is it Jesse?"

"I'm a werewolf."

I paused for a second. Did he just say he was a werewolf?

"Really? Are the high temp and accelerated growth side affects?"

"Wait, you're not shocked by this at all?"

"Nope, not at all."

When I said that he threw his arms around.

"I thought you'd be scared by all of this."

"Nope, just fine."

"Oh, I forgot, you can't tell anyone about this. The only others who have phased are Dylan, Calan, and Angus. The only people who haven't stopped phasing are Quil, Brady, and Jake. But Jake can't stop phasing till he has kids 'cause he's alpha and at the moment there's no one to take his place."

"Why do you get to tell me?"

"Some wolves imprint, which is basically a way of creating stronger wolves. Once you imprint it hurts both people to be away from each other for long periods of time. Once a wolf imprints he's allowed to tell her."

"So I'm your imprint? Wait, if Natalie is Jake's imprint, why haven't they had kids, you said that imprinting is a way of creating stronger wolves?"

"No one really knows. Hey you said your dad was from around here right?"

"Yeah I'm pretty sure."

"What was the date on the pictures of you in the hospital?"

"Um, April, three months before my birth certificate."

"I think we should go talk to my dad."

We walked back to the crowd. Jesse pulled his mom and dad aside while I talked with Melanie. Melanie also wanted me to sing for her so I started.

_Her face is a map of the world _

_is a map of the world_

_You can see she's a beautiful girl _

_she's a beautiful girl_

_And everything around her is a silver pool of light_

_People who surround her feel the benefit of it_

_It makes you calm_

_She holds you captivated in her palm_

_Suddenly I see_

_This what I want to be_

_Suddenly I see _

_Why the hell it means so much to me_

_-Suddenly I See_

_-KT Tunstall_

"That was awesome Cass,"said Jesse,"My parents want to talk to you for a sec."

He brought me over to Sam and Emily. They were standing very far from the group whispering to themselves.

"Hey, what did you want to talk to me about?"

"We wanted to talk about your father," Emily said.

"I don't know anything, other than what I've already told you."

"Cassie, to be imprinted on you have to be part Quileute."

"So my father must be Quileute, that's nothing new."

"We think we know who your father is."

"How, how is that possible?"

"The only two people your mother ever dated while she was in Forks were Edward Cullen, and Jacob."

"Wait, so Jacob's my father?"

"Yes, you should ask your mother again, but ask if Jacob is, your mother is a bit of a pushover so she probably will tell you."

Just then Jacob came jogging over to us.

"Hey guys what's going on?"

Sam answered him. "Oh, we're talking with Cassie. Jesse imprinted on her."

"Congrats man. Wait, you have to be Quileute to be imprinted on."

"We know, we're just discussing that know. Maybe you should ask Bella who Cassie's father is, she always opened up to you."

I saw the second of hesitation in his eyes. He was curious though, and clearly he hadn't realized that he was most likely my father, or if he did he wasn't saying anything about it.

"Ok, I'll head over to Bella's house now."

He walked back down the beach, with his hands in his pockets like he was thinking deeply about something.

"Well, your mom and I are going back to the party," Sam announced once Jake reached his car.

They walked down the beach arm in arm, completely content with the current status of their lives. Jesse sat down, leaning against a log and he grabbed my hand to help me down to the ground. I sat in his lap, with his arms around me.

"Can you tell me more about this whole werewolf thing?"

"Sure, you know how my parents mentioned the Cullens earlier, they are vampires."

"I knew that, I mean I lived with two for fifteen years."

"Seriously, and they never tried..."

"Nope, never. Wait, so does this mean I'm gonna become a werewolf too?"

"The only other female wolf was Leah, at the time my father imprinted on my mother, Leah and my father were engaged."

"God, thats awful, for Leah I mean. Is that what happened to my mother?"

"Thats what my parents suspect, but they're still not sure. Do you want to go back to the party?"

"No,"I smiled,"I'm fine sitting right here."

He kissed the top of my head, and we talked the rest of the night.

Ok I know I'm being cruel, but I want reviews, I'll update tomorrow if I get at least 6 more!


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

And the Truth Comes Out

Ok guys the moment you've all been waiting for!

Playlist

_Keep Holding On_- Avril Lavigne

_My Life Would Suck Without You_- Kelly Clarkson

_JPOV_

Why did they think I should ask Bella who Cassidy's father was? This isn't any of my business. Wait, it is my business, she cheated on me! But with who? Damn it, who did she sleep with on the rez other than me? Hold up, am I Cassie's father? No, that's impossible! Bella would have told me. Was that what she was trying to tell me that day on the beach? Shit, I drove my own daughter away from me because I imprinted, unintentionally of course. Finally, I pulled up to Bella's house and practically sprinted to the door. Bella looked cranky. God this was going to be difficult.

"Bella, I need to talk to you."

"First, what the HELL are you doing here?"

"I told you, I have to talk to you."

"Ugh, fine."

She walked into the living room and curled up at one end of the couch.

"First, did you know Jesse imprinted on Cassie?"

"He did? That's good, I wouldn't be able to stand it if he broke her heart."

I shifted uncomfortably on the couch. She was referring to how I left her.

"Bella, is Cassidy my daughter?"

"Where did you get an idea like that Jake?"

"Sam and Emily said I should ask you who Cassie's father was. I knew whoever it was had to be Quileute and I doubted you had slept with anyone but me, so I put 2 and 2 together and this is what I got."

"Damn it Jake!"

"Why did you come back Bella?"

"Cassie started getting a high fever that wouldn't go down with what ever I tried. The she had long phases of nausea. I was afraid she would phase, and I didn't think living with two vampires would make it any easier for her."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I thought both of us would be better off with you not knowing."

"God Bella, you could have saved me a lot of trouble. Natalie and I haven't had any kids. We've been together for 14 years. That's why I haven't stopped phasing."

"Jake would you do me a favor and not tell anyone yet, especially not Cassidy?"

"I think she already knows."

"Damn it, could you leave Jake, I need to be alone."

"Sure, can I come over again tomorrow?"

"Yeah."

I left Bella curled on the couch and walked out to my car. Oh, My, God, I have a daughter. And now she's with Jesse...Damn it, if he hurts her I'll rip his head off. Damn, if I ever hear anything while he's phased...

Shit, what am I going to tell Natalie? When I pulled into my driveway, the lights were still on inside the house. Why is she up at this hour? Seth and Brady were right. When I walked in, there was a guy on top of Natalie.

"Natalie." I stared in disbelief.

"Hey Jake, this isn't what you think."

"It isn't? Then what's going on here?"

"Well I got tired of you, so I thought I'd have some fun."

I stormed out of the door. Why did she do this to me? I thought she loved me? I have to run. I had made it to the Canadian border when it started raining so I decided to head back. I couldn't go home. I could never face anyone in La Push, word travels too fast. Shit, Bells is gonna be pissed when I show up at her door again. The lights were still on when I got to the house. Bells answered the door.

"Jacob, WTF are you doing here?"

"Can I come in?"

"Why Jake?"

"Natalie's been cheating on me and I'd rather not go home tonight."

"Oh, come in Jake. Let me get you some towels."

I sat at on one side of the couch, but this time Bells sat next to me and held my hand after pouring us each a shot of vodka.

"Its gonna be ok Jake, I know how you feel."

"How do you know Bells?"

"Cause its happened to me, several times. The first time it happened I didn't exactly catch him, but it still hurt."

I drank my shot. "Who was the soab?"

"You,"she answered incredulously.

"Well know we're even I guess."

"I guess we are. Have you seen Cassie, she hasn't come back and she isn't answering her phone?"

"Last time I saw her she was at the party with Jesse, it should be over by now."

"Do you think she's at Sam and Emily's?"

"Probably, I'll call just to make sure."

I grabbed my phone. I had their # on speed dial.

"Hey Sam its Jake, is Cassie at your place?"

"Yeah she's here, but she's sick, we've been trying to call Bella, but we haven't gotten through. Where are you?"

"I'm with Bella, we'll be over soon."

"Ok. Is she your daughter Jake?"

"Yeah she is."

"Well then congratulations, hurry over."

"See you in a bit."

"Come on Bells, we're going to Sam's."

"Why?"

"Because something is wrong with Cass and Sam didn't tell me what."

"Let me change, I'll be down in a second."

We were silent on the ride over. Bella was practically out of her seat before I even turned off the engine. The screen door was open so Bella let herself in. When I came in, Bells was hovering over the person I assumed to be Cassie, laying on the couch. Jesse was kneeling next to her holding her hand. When I saw Cassie's face, I lunged at Jesse.

I need 5 reviews if you want to find out what happened to Cassie!


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Coming Alive

ok guys this is chapter 10! need 5 reviews

Playlist

_Standing Still- Jewel_

_Fall For You- Secondhand Serenade_

_Feels Like Tonight- Daughtry_

_JSPOV_

_2 Hours Earlier_

_Cassidy and I talked for most of the night. When we were walking back to the party we walked past Garrin arguing with Larissa. Most of the time it was fun to watch them argue, but not tonight. Cass was closest to Garrin when it happened. Larissa must have said something that pushed him over the edge. Garrin phased right as Cassie was walking past him. When he phased, his arm came flying backwards and he smacked Cassie, and knocked her 100yds away from where we were standing. I ran over to her. She passed out from the blow. Her face was covered with torn skin and blood from being cut up by his claws. Dylan was trying to keep Garrin calm, but he wasn't having much luck so far. Mom and dad had already gone home, so I carried her to the house. Mom was frantically trying to reach Bella while I kneeled next to Cassie's head. I won't let her die, she's strong, she'll live. Cassie still hadn't come too. Dad got a call from Jake asking if Cassie was, dad said she got hurt but didn't give the specifics. When they got here Cassie's mom came running through the door. Jake came next. Once he saw Cassie's mangled face, next thing I knew I was pinned against the wall._

_JPOV_

"Jake, calm down, Jesse didn't hurt her."

"I'm sorry Sam, but he hurt Cassie, and I don't care that he's your son anymore!"

"Jake, she was hurt when Garrin phased, put him down Jake."

"Oh, sorry Jesse."

"No problem, I understand."

"How's she doing Bells?"

"She's coming to, she'll be fine, she's had worse."

"Worse? What happened?"

"She was hit by a car a year ago, took her three days to come out of the coma. She's gonna be fine Jake, she's tough. You need to calm down though."

I hadn't realized I was shaking. How could this happen? As soon as I find out I have a daughter, she's almost killed. Just my luck. Bells and I sat next to her for the rest of the night. Sam said she probably won't scar like Emily because of the werewolf gene. Sam and Emily went to bed around 4, but Jesse stayed up with Bells and I. I'm surprised at how devoted he is to her, they've only known each other for several days. Bella told me more about Cass while we were waiting for her to wake up. Cassie had always been a very energetic child, Bella said. She was always trying to do something she probably shouldn't be, which caused several trips to the ER over the years. When she got to high school, she used her energy to focus on rebellion. Cass would play poker in a storage closet after school with her friends. She also had a competent ability for meeting the wrong people. While in Boston she got involved in a drug scam, but luckily she wasn't charged. Bells said that Cass also had a black belt in karate and had been boxing since she was 10. Cassie has also been singing since she was 4. Bella says she has an amazing voice, which got her a scholarship while they were living in Boston. Bella also said that I could stay at her place until I sorted things out with Natalie.

Mell was already asleep when Jesse brought Cassie home, so when she saw Cassie lying on the couch she screamed. It took Emily awhile to get her to shut up. When Cass came to, Bells and I were in the kitchen, but Jesse was with her. If you heard her voice, you would have never guessed that she had been hit over the head several hours earlier. She sounded like she had just woken up from much needed sleep. Her voice was high pitched and, she sounded, happy. Defiantly not how I would have sounded, Bella either. When she saw Bells, her face lit up. She had the most beautiful smile. Cass said she felt like she had been hit by a truck. Bella laughed, Jesse looked guilty, and I just scowled at him. He let this happen to her, Garrin might have been the one hit her, but Jesse was the one responsible for her. When I looked up again Bella and Jesse were helping her stand up. Bella wanted to take her home, and I, of course, obliged. Cassie was quiet most of the way home, something that was uncommon for her I had heard from Bella. Cass stared out the window most of the way home. I could tell she missed Jesse. Damn, why'd he have to imprint on her? I hardly knew her and she was already practically engaged, but she probably doesn't know that yet. Well, at least she will phase, I just want to know her. She doesn't have to call me "dad," I just want to make up for the time I missed with her, before she marries Jesse. I love that kid to death, but did he have to imprint on my daughter? My only child.

When we got back to the house, Bells immediately brought Cass upstairs. After a half-hour, Bella came back downstairs.

"So, when are we going to tell her," I asked.

"Do we have to Jake?"

"Well I kinda want her to know that I'm her father."

"Maybe it would be best if we didn't tell her. I mean, you're married, think of all the confusion that would cause."

"Bella, I'm going to get a divorce."

"Jake, don't do that just because of Cassie."

"Bells, my wife cheated on me for I don't know how long, why would I want to stay with her?"

"She's your imprint Jake, don't you have to stay with her?"

"Well I'm not feeling much of an attachment right now, so I don't give a crap that she's my imprint. I don't think I even loved her, it was just something I had to do."

"Jake if you're just saying this so that I might consider coming back to you, don't count on it working."

"Bells, I'm being serious, I'm not just leaving her because of you and Cass, and I didn't say that stuff so that you would come back to me. By the way Bells, she's listening to us."

"Cassie, get down here now!"

If you want more you have to review!


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

I Love You...But I Hate You

Here it is chapter 11 duh, duh, duh!

Ok guys, a lot of you said you want Cassie to more bad ass, well her past has been a bit sketchy and she will be getting into a fight in the next several chapters that I have been planning for months! Enjoy!

(btw: all of Cassie's lines are indented)

Playlist

_All Summer Long- Southern All Stars_

_Dirty Little Secret- The All-American Rejects_

_The Joker- Steve Miller Band_

_CPOV_

"Hi, mom," I stuttered.

"How much have you heard?"

"Um, everything."

"And the part about Jake being being your father?"

"Yep."

"Damn it," mom cursed.

"Well, at least we've avoided one awkward conversation," Jake grinned.

"No, I think the situation is awkward in general," I countered.

I finished my decent of the stairs. Mom was standing next to Jake, hand on her forehead, looking really pissed. I don't usually express my emotions, if I do, I definitely don't express them in public. But now I just keep hold them back.

"Dad?" I questioned. Tears were forming in my eyes. I ran over to him and threw my arms around his neck. Tears were forming more rapidly now. He put one hand on my back and the other he used to stroke my hair with. When I looked up at him he was smiling down at me. I started to laugh, leave it to me to ruin the moment. When I turned, mom was standing, looking at us. I've never seen her so shocked in my life. Jake and I started laughing, she scowled at us.

"This is different Cass, the last time I saw you cry was when you fell out of that tree when you were four."

"Well, I'm tough, you said it yourself when you got to Jesse's house.."

"You were awake."

"Yeah. I heard everything, I just couldn't respond at the time."

I turned to Jake.

"Oh, and if you ever lay a finger on my boyfriend again, I will personally kick your ass."

"Well, once you phase, and slip up at hiding your thoughts, if I see anything I don't like, I don't care how much you threaten me, I will kill him."

"Wait, I'm going to phase? That's probably not going to happen. I mean, I'm only part Quileute, everyone else who's phased has parents who are both Quileute."

"That is a possibility Jake," mom said.

"Wait I'm alpha, of course she'll phase Cassie."

"Stop being so full of yourself Jake. Just because your alpha doesn't mean she's going to phase."

"Hold up, so I'm like your heir? No one told me that this was a monarchy!"

"Cass, maybe you should go back to bed, you've had a long day," mom pleaded.

"No mom, I want the truth! I'm sick of the BS you've been giving me for years."

What the fuck is going on here? I don't want anything to do with this shit. As soon as I get a father I also get all the crap that comes along with his life. Why does my life always feel like shit? My release has usually been pot, but I don't think I can get much of it around here. Damn I miss Boston. It was easy to find a dealer, and I always had cash 'cause I played enough poker. But none of that now, no pot, no poker. Why did we have to leave Boston? I loved the lights, the people, am I starting to sound like a Journey song or what. I'm a city girl, I'm not cut out for any of this leadership crap. In the city, you're just there, you mold, adapt, you have to look out for yourself, no one's in charge, you live the way you want to. And now, everyone expects something from me. In Boston, I was only expected to get good grades, which I did, and stay out of trouble, which I did not. Now I'm supposed to be in charge of a whole tribe.

"Cassie, I've told you everything you need to know," mom insisted.

"Everything I need to know, but not everything I want to know. Tell me everything mom."

"Ok Cassidy, I came to Forks my junior year in high school. I fell in love with a vampire. Months later he left in the woods behind the house. Sam found me. I was a wreck for months. Jake helped put what was left of me back together. When I went to tell him I was pregnant with you, he told me he had imprinted, so I left Forks. I went to stay with Renee and Phil in Jacksonville. I had the date on your birth certificate changed so that no one could figure out that you were Jake's child. We stayed in Jacksonville until I graduated. Alice and Jasper caught up with us when we moved to Maryland and then they moved to Boston with us. When you started getting sick, I thought you might phase so I brought you back here and Alice and Jasper are touring the world because we thought their presence might increase your chance of phasing. Are you happy now?"

"Fine, but what if I don't phase what happens then?"

"Then I'll just choose someone else to be alpha," Jake said.

"Then why the fuck haven't you? I don't want to be alpha!"

"I didn't either Cass, I wouldn't have cared if Sam continued on as alpha, but he insisted I that I step, so I had to."

"Wait, Jesse's father used to be alpha? Then why can't Jesse be next, not me?"

"Because its your birthright. Sometimes you have to do what you'd rather not Cass."

"Don't I get a choice in any of this?"

"Not exactly Cass, but its going to be ok, I'll help you through this."

"You'll have Leah to Cassie. She is still phasing right Jake?"

"Actually, she stopped several years ago."

"Damn it Jake, she's gonna be all alone through this. You know how much it hurt Leah, how can you put your own daughter through this."

"Bella, I never chose to be what I am, if I could change any of this I would, but I can't."

"Jake, why the hell are you putting so much pressure on her? She just found out that you're her father and now you're planning the rest of her life. Did you ever consider that she might just want get to know you before you map out the rest of her life, you're still perfect strangers, I know I wouldn't be comfortable with someone who claims to be my father coming into my life and 2 minutes later already has my husband picked out."

"I'm sorry Bells."

"Don't apologize to me, apologize to her."

"I'm sorry Cassie, if I've been putting pressure on you. I never intended for it to come across that way. I want to be a part of your life though."

"Mom, can I go to bed now?"

"Sure Cass, you need some sleep."

I made my way up the the stairs, this was to much to take in. I curled up in my warm covers and fell into a deep sleep.

_BPOV_

Once I heard her door shut, I sat back down on the couch. Why did she listen to the conversation? We could've avoided all of this for the time being. I'm not sure what to do. I don't want Cassie to phase. She'll be all alone, just like Leah, and Leah was pretty bitchy and I really do not want to deal with another Leah at the moment. Even if she doesn't phase she'll still have a connection to Jake through Jesse. Hopefully Jake won't kill him, I like Jesse, he seems capable of keeping Cass out of the trouble that normally finds her. But it is hard to face the truth that my 15 year old daughter is practically engaged. Jake brought me out of my thoughts. I almost forgot that he was still here.

"Bells, is it ok if I introduce her to the pack tomorrow?"

"If she wants to, but don't count on her agreeing, she might if Jesse asked, but please do not trick her into coming."

"Ok Bells, I'm gonna stay at my dad's place tonight."

He walked out the front door. Why did I feel like he was leaving me again?

Ok guys, some of you think Cassie's too perfect so I've changed her a bit. Hope you didn't think the beginning of the chapter was sappy. I would've reacted like that if I saw my dad again, ever since he died I closed myself from the world. Cassie's a bit like me in that perspective. I would rather know that I have a dad out there somewhere who didn't leave me like mine.(I can say that because he killed himself so I'd call that leaving)

thanx again! Please r/r!


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

I'm A Fighter

Ok its chapter 12! this is going to be Cassie's fight scene!

Playlist

_Get Off My Back- Bryan Adams_

_You Can't Take Me- Bryan Adams_

_CPOV_

I woke up the next morning feeling surprisingly refreshed. I gotten thrown 100yds, met my dad, had my future all planned out, and fought with parents all in one day, and what a day it was. Hopefully today will be better. I plugged my iPod into my laptop and put on my favorite soundtrack, _Spirit_, I'm a sucker for animated movies with good music.

"_Well you think you can take me on_

_You must be crazy_

_There ain't a single thing you've done_

_That's gonna phase me_

_Oh, but if you want to have a go_

_I just want to let you know_

_Get off my back and into my game_

_Get outta my way and outta my brain_

_Get outta my face or give it your best shot_

_I think it's time you better face the fact_

_Get of my back"_

I took a long hot shower. I loved the feeling of warm water pouring down my shoulders. It relaxed me, made me feel calm before the storm. I put on my warm, fleece robe and pranced down the stairs. Mom was making pancakes that smelled divine. She looked tired but she smiled, we acted like last night never happened while we ate breakfast. While we were cleaning dishes, there was a knock at the door. It was Jake. Figures. He asked me if I wanted to meet the rest of the pack, just for fun, Jesse would be there. Under normal circumstances I wouldn't go anywhere with him, but Jesse was going to be there, and I hadn't seen him for what felt like a lifetime, so I agreed. He said that Jesse would be here at 11 to pick me up and to wear walking shoes. Then he left. I'm surprised he didn't ask to come in, but I was thankful he that he was giving mom and I some space. For most of the morning, I sketched the forest behind our house. At 10:30, I decided it was time to get ready to leave. I put my wet hair into a twist bun. I wore sweatpants with my Woodstock tee and my Adidas. When I heard Jesse's car, I darted down the stairs and out to his car. On a normal day, I would have broken my neck, but I guess today was going to be lucky. Spoke to soon, while I was crossing the yard, I tripped over a rock, I would have fallen flat on my face if Jesse hadn't been there to catch me. He really was my savior. He would always be there to catch me. After along drive Jesse told me to get out, we were walking the rest of the way. It wasn't that far, only about 20 city blocks, did they really think I couldn't walk that far? I've walked the same distance in heels with 5 bags, and I am still alive. We arrived at a clearing. I recognized Dylan, Calan, and Angus. The other one was probably Garrin, the one swatted me 100yds across the beach. My assumption was confirmed when he came over to apologize. Jesse looked uneasy the whole time. After about five minutes Jake came into the clearing. He walked over to me and Jesse. He introduced me as Jesse's imprint, and his daughter. The first one to speak up was Dylan. (a/n: Cassie's lines are indented.)

"Wait, so you're saying she's going to be alpha? But she's a girl she can't be alpha."

"Uh, excuse me. Did you just say I can't be alpha cause I can't fight?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Ok, I'll prove you're wrong. Whoever gets the other down for 10 wins. What rules are we playing with?"

Dylan just stared.

"Fine, I'll make the rules. No kidney punches, no liver punches, everything else is allowed. Sound fair to you?"

"Let's do this."

I took of my Woodstock shirt, luckily I was wearing a sports bra, cause I was not gonna get that shirt dirty. He threw the first punch. I dogged it and threw a right hook at his rib cage. He threw a punch to my chin. He expected me to go down, but I was born with a good chin, so I stood my ground. I used his shock to my advantage and threw a power-punch to his temple then jabbed him in the chest several times. I weakened him. When I threw another punch to his temple, he fell to the ground. I placed my hands around his neck.

"If you attempt to move, I will break your neck."

We didn't agree on no threatening so I got away with that comment. When he was down for the count I released his neck. When I stood up Jake and Jesse were staring at me, mouths wide open.

"What, you didn't think I could do it?"

"No, its not that,"Jesse stuttered,"You just never seemed like a person with that much power."

"Well, I'll take that as a compliment," I smirked, "So, what are we doing today?"

Jesse and the rest of the pack showed me the forest that day, then we went back to Sam and Emily's for dinner. We had steak, baked potatoes, and chocolate cake for dessert. Jesse brought me back home. Before I got out of the car, I turned to him. He placed his hand on my cheek and moved a little closer. He pressed his lips against mine, they felt like fire, his lips were soft against my coarse. The kiss was short, but it had meaning. We whispered our goodnights and I left the car. As I watched him drive away the fire that was once in my heart began to die down. I was cold, lonely without him. Mom asked me how my day was. I said it was exciting but I was tired now. I put on my pjs, and dove into my covers. Mom came up shortly after I did. The next sound I heard after she shut her door, was atap at my window.

Hope you liked the chapter, I need 5 more r/r's if you want me to update!


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Night Sky

This chapter is probably going to suck cause I didn't intend to end the last chapter that way!

(btw:cassie's lines are indented)

Playlist

_Bubbly-Colbie Caillat_

_I'll Be-Edwin McCain_

_CPOV_

Why was someone knocking on mt bedroom window? Well I guess it would be impolite not to see who was at my window. I took off my covers and stood in my cold, harsh room. When I opened my window, I was greeted by a gust of cold air, and Jesse.

"Jesse what are you doing here?" I screeched quietly, the cold must be ruining my mood.

"I came to see you," he responded incredulously. Why did he state the obvious?

"I can see that, but WHY are you here?"

"I'll tell you if I can come in. Can I?"

"Oh fine."

He used a tree limb to crawl in through my window. Once he got in he didn't give me a chance to restate my question. He put both of his hands on my cold cheeks and put his lips on mine. The fire that had gone out when he left me burst into flame again. He kissed me more fiercely than be before but it was still tender. His touch made my soul come alive.

"_I've been awake for awhile now_

_You've got me feelin' like a child now _

_'Cause every time I see your bubbly face _

_I get the tingles in a silly place"_

His hands were now on the small of my back and mine were in his hair. He moved us to my bed and layed me back on the pillows. He shifted his weight onto his forearms so that he wouldn't suffocate me. I traced his bottom lip with my tongue, begging for entrance, which he granted. His mouth was warm and enticing.

"_And it starts in my toes_

_And I crinkle my nose_

_Wherever it goes_

_I always know_

_That you make me smile_

_Please stay for a while now_

_Just take your time _

_Wherever you go"_

He was getting to be to much. I had to stop, for his sake and mine. I pulled away slowly. He didn't try to stop me, he layed down and pulled me into his arms and stroked my shoulder. After a while, I spoke up.

"So is that why you're here?"

"Pretty much. I just wanted to see you."

"Won't you get in trouble for being out this late?"

"Probably not from my parents, but I'm probably going to get hell from Jake the next time I phase?"

"Why from him?"

"Because he's your father and I doubt that he's going to like the fact that I'm spending the night with his his daughter."

"Oh, I forgot. Wait, you can't spend the night, my mom might notice you if she checks on me in the morning."

"I'll be gone before she'll ever notice that I was here."

"Oh fine, you can stay," I answered defeated.

We talked for most of the night. I told him about life in Boston. My friends, my school, my junkie days, which he was saddened to hear about. I assured him I hadn't gone near anything for the past several months. He told me about growing up in La Push, all the stuff I missed out on. He told about his future plans, go to community college, stay as close to Forks as possible so that we could be together till I graduated. He told me that he wanted to become an architect. He said he had been designing for awhile and has designed several buildings. I told him that he should consider the Harvard School of Design. He told me that he would never be able to afford it. I convinced him that he could apply for financial aid or maybe a scholarship and I told that my Aunt and Uncle would gladly help out, even if he was a werewolf. He said he'd consider Harvard, but he didn't want to be away from me. I suggested that he could go out there for grad school while I was in the undergrad program. Once I started yawning, he said that it was time for me to sleep, I protested, but eventually I succumbed.

"_I've been asleep for a while now_

_You tuck me in just like a child now_

_'Cause every time you hold me in your arms_

_I'm comfortable enough to feel your warmth"_

I fell into a deep sleep. When I woke up Jesse was gone and the smell of waffles was winding its way up the stairs. I put on my robe and jogged down the stairs. Mom was sitting at the kitchen table, drinking a glass of orange juice and grading Hamlet tests. She greeted me, but went right back to grading the tests. After breakfast I put on skinny jeans, wooly socks, and a long black sleeve top. I went down stairs to watch past seasons of _Angel _when I heard a knock at the door. I got up reluctantly and stumbled over to the front door. When I opened the door I saw Jake standing on the other side scowling.

"Can I speak with Bella," he said through gritted teeth.

"Um, sure, she's in the kitchen."

I walked upstairs, hoping he wouldn't notice. Jesse was right, he defiantly got hell from Jake, and I was next on his hit list.

So how'd you guys like it? I really love your feedback and I haven't gotten a lot of it lately, sorry to be greedy, but I want more!


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

The Great Escape

Sorry about not updating sooner, I went back to school this week! If this chapter sounds strange, its because I'm watching Phantom of the Opera right now! I love Gerard Butler! So Hot!

Playlist

_The Great Escape- Boys Like Girls_

_CPOV_

I snuck up to my room without anyone noticing. I laid back on my bed. I'm in for a lot of trouble. I was brought forth from my state of peace when I heard a tap at my window. I was Jesse, again.

"What are you doing here?" I whispered.

"Busting you out of course, I got hell from Jake, but I don't want you too. Last night wasn't your fault.," he said with guilt splattered across his face.

I grabbed a sweatshirt from my closet and walked back to the window. Jesse helped me out of the window and into the tree. He jumped down first and caught me when I jumped. How'd he get here? I don't see his car. Oh, werewolf, right. He grabbed my hand and pulled me into the woods. After walking for several minutes in silence, he told me to wait for him in the clearing.

"Your dad is gonna kill me for this, but I want you to see me in my wolf form."

He left the clearing and walked back into the darkened woods. What came from that spot, I was not prepared for. From that spot in the woods came a charcoal black wolf. The fur was tinted with bits of gray and silver. He was beautiful. He trotted over and knelt down in front of me. He wanted me to ride. I don't think Jake will get the chance to kill him cause right now, Jesse's minutes are numbered. There was no way I was going to do this. I shook my head, but he kept nodding. I gave into him, Jake would find me eventually, and this was my one-way ticket out. For the time being. Once I had a tight grip on his fur, he shot off into the woods. I couldn't tell where he was headed at the speed we were going. When he came to a stop, we were at the beach where we saw each other for the first time. He bent to let me off and trotted back into the woods. When he came out he had a smirk on his face.

"So, how was it?"

"Fast, very very fast."

"You'll get used to it."

"Uh, hell no, I am never doing that again."

"Come on, its perfectly safe."

"Uh, do you have any idea how fast you were going, you could have crashed," I spoke, in complete shock.

He laughed and took my hand. We walked down the beach. He put an arm around my waist, and I leaned into his side. I wasn't prepared for what he did next. He picked me up, wedding style, and threw me into the surf. That soab. He came in after me, laughing. When he got to me, I smacked him on the chest.

"What the hell was that for? This water is freezing!"

He wrapped his arms around me. His fire hot arms kept me warm while helping me on to the beach.

"My clothes are drenched, and I can't go home, you are such a bastard."

"I'll take you to my place, you can borrow some of Mell's clothes."

He disappeared for a second but appeared again, as a wolf. He ran us to his place. I waited for him to phase and we walked into the house together. I could smell beef stew from the kitchen. Emily was stirring the pot and did not notice us come in.

"Hey mom."

"Jesse, where ha-, oh, I didn't know you were here Cassidy. Why are both of you soaking wet?"

"Well, Jesse dumped me into the ocean, and he said I could borrow some of Mell's clothes."

"You can take anything from Mell's dresser," Jesse told me.

I walked down to her room. I picked out a long black sleeved shirt with skinny jeans. I pulled my wet hair into a bun and borrowed some of Mell's lip gloss, I wanted to look presentable. When I came out, Jesse had changed into jeans and was talking with his mom. He told her why he hadn't come home last night. Surprising, she wasn't upset by it at all. He also told her about Jake giving him hell earlier that day.

"Those two are a bunch of hypocrites, Jake used to spend the night at your mom's house all the time."

"What?" Jesse and I both shouted at the same time.

"You didn't know that Cassie? I thought someone would have told you her story by now."

"Well, she did, but not in much detail."

"I think she should tell you the rest."

We spent the rest of the day at Jesse's house. I sat in his lap while we watched Live Free Die Hard and I Am Legend. At eleven, he ran me home. He helped me into the tree and through my window. Once he was through, he wrapped his arms around me and I leaned into him. Our lips were seconds away from touching, when my light turned on. Standing there were the unhappy faces of Jake and my mom. Can't wait to see how this one ends.

How'd you like it? I know I left it at a cliffy, but I want more reviews, I only got on the last chapter!


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

It Will Come Back To Haunt You

Sorry I haven't updated, if you didn't read my AN, I went back to school several weeks ago and had so much work to catch up on, I missed 2 weeks! Anyway, I got to stay home today because I didn't have anymore mid-terms to take! (Anyone from my school who's reading this, I am truly sorry for you). Anyway...I'm not sure how this chapter will sound, so here goes nothing!

_Playlist_

_Unwritten-Natasha Bedingfield_

_Careful-Paramore_

_Midnight Bottle-Colbie Caillat_

_CPOV_

Oh Shit!

Jesse's arms went around my waist protectively. I love him so much! Mom's eyes were dagger sharp, aiming strait for my throat. I couldn't tell who Jake was more mad at. Me,for sneaking out, or Jesse for sneaking in and then busting me out. I think everyone was waiting for me to say something.

"Come on mom, you know I've done worse," I countered her glaring eyes. She looked down and sighed, pressing her hand to her forehead, "True, you have." She replied, defeated.

"What?" Jake looked stunned. I figured mom had told him about the messes I've gotten into, but clearly she hadn't. Guess I'll have to fill him in.

"Well, there was the strip poker in the storage closet, driving to NYC with some seniors for kicks,...there's more but I'm tired, and seeing as how I'm get any sleep here, Jesse and I'll just go."

I started towards the window, but it was slammed shut before I reached it. Damn, Jake was fast.

"Uh, you're kinda in my Jake, so if you'd kindly step aside-"

"I don't think so Cassidy, what the hell were you thinking Jesse? Did you honestly believe that I wouldn't find out about last night? You could've hurt her when you phased!"

Jake was getting way too close to my boyfriend, so I had to intervene. I stepped between the two of them.

"I thought we talked about this Jake? You. Stay. Away. From. Jesse."

Jake shoved me out of the way and stepped closer to Jesse. Clearly he didn't care how hard pushed or in which direction, because I was on the floor next to the corner of my desk, with a small trail of blood seeping from my forehead. Once he realized what he had done, Jake looked apologetic, mom had that "oh my god my child is hurt" look on her face, and Jesse...well Jesse looked like he was going to rip Jake's head off. And I, I was stunned, I sitting, on bedroom floor, next to my desk, with blood dripping from my forehead, because my so-called "dad" had just shoved me out his way. I had pitiful look on my was. The kind of "oh my god, what have you just done to me" look. When I called out Jesse's name in a hopeless sort of tone, he immediately calmed down.

"Let's get out here Jesse's."

This time Jake didn't stop us. When I shoved past him, he looked like he had just been shot. Mom didn't stop us either. We used the front door this time, and Jesse escorted me to the forest where he then phased and took me back to his place. When we walked in the door, Dylan, Drew, Angus, Calan, Garrin, Sam, and Emily were sitting around the table. Jesse walked in before me, holding the screen door open. They saw him first. I heard comments from them asking how bad he got beat up by Jake. When I came in the door, all comments stopped, everyone was silent. Emily was the first on to reach us. She put her arms around me and lead us to the couch.

"Did you do this Jesse?" Emily asked, sounding like she had lost all faith in the world.

"No, Jacob did." His voice was grim, but flooded with grief. Once he said that a choir of "whats" was heard throughout the room. Jesse didn't bother to elaborate on tonight's previous event that had everyone shocked. He just bowed his head and walked over to me on the couch. He pulled me into his arms and I leaned against his chest. This is the only place I feel safe, right here in his arms. Once Emily felt I was safe again, she left the room and came back with a bowl cool water and a washcloth. Everyone was still dumbfounded. Jesse was still full of grief. I nudged him and jerked my head towards the silent onlookers, signaling him to tell them what had happened. He told them how mom and Jake had been waiting for us when we got back, and how Jake was less than thrilled with Jesse's actions. When they seemed like they were about to start fighting, I stepped between them, and Jake, clearly not in control of his actions, shoved me out of his way and into my desk. Emily continued to dab at my forehead, and once all the blood was gone, she put some gauze on the cut. She left the room again and came back with some of Mel's pjs, and lead me out of Jesse's arms and into his room. She helped me change, seeing as how exhausted I was, and tucked me into bed like I was a child. Normally I would have done all this myself, but I was still dazed and on the verge of passing out. I tried to sleep, but there were too many things floating around in my head. After what seemed like forever, Jesse finally came in. He took off his shirt and climbed into bed with. He pulled me towards him and I eagerly excepted his embrace. I curled into his body. He leaned down and kissed the top of my head. This is home. When I'm with him, everything's all right.

I spent the rest of the night there, and a good portion of the morning too. When I woke up, he was laying on his back and his arms were wrapped around my torso. My arms draped lazily around his shoulders. He was snoring softly in my ear. I wish I could wake up to this every morning. I traced the planes of his chest with feather-light touches. When I removed my hand from his chest, her stirred against me, his eyes slowly began to open. He whispered good morning to me and placed a chaste kiss on lips. He sighed, content as could be, and pulled me closer to him.

This is heaven.

* * *

Hope you guys liked this chapter! Please continue to send me entries for the contest, I don't have very many at the moment! Please r/r! I didn't get a lot of reviews for chap 14 so that's another reason I didn't update sooner.

Lots of love,

Lydia


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Never An Absolute

I decided to post early! Ok guys, this chapter was inspired _Titanic_ (which I am watching as I write). "Never An Absolute" is one of my favorite instrumentals. Don't worry, I'm not killing off any characters.

_Playlist_

_Never An Absolute-James Horner_

_Hymn To The Sea-James Horner_

_CPOV_

When you're in the arms of the person you love, everything's all right, for the moment. We laid in the bed for another hour, looking at each other affectionately. Jesse stroked my cheek as I traced the contours of his face. I was content, until I heard stomping in the hallway. The door burst open and Melanie came waltzing through frame. She was wearing gray sweat capris and a maroon tank with a black hoodie.

"Ok you two, time to get up, I might seriously throw up, you are disgusting."

"Uh, Mel, its too early to get up," I complained. She opened the blinds to let as much light in as possible.

"No its not, its 11:45, and I have to talk with you Cassidy." She left the room, walking like a diva. "Mom's making pancakes too..." Her voice faded into the distance.

"Guess we better get up," Jesse sighed. He rose up on the bed and then pulled me up to him. He pulled me into his fiery embrace and pressed his brutally hot lips to mine. His lips danced across mine at first, but soon pressed harder. His fingers trailed down my neck to my collarbone. They traced the ridges of the bone and continued downward to the hem of my cami. They glided along the smooth fabric and then graced just below it. Then they moved back up to cup my cheeks and he gradually pulled away from me.

"Sorry Cass, I shouldn't have done that," he apologized.

"No, you don't have to apologize for anything." To prove it to him, I leaned in and traced his lips with my tongue and placed another kiss on his lips and started laughing. I pulled myself from the position I was in and onto the floor, laughing as I jogged out of his room. Mell was right, Emily was making pancakes. Not that I didn't trust Mell, its just that I thought she said that to get us out of bed.

"How did you sleep?" She asked.

"Quite well,"I replied, my cheeks were probably tinted with hints of pink. Jesse came in rubbing his forehead, that was the first time I noticed that he had slept in his boxers. My face then turned an even darker shade of pink. Mell noticed the change in my skin color and started laughing. She brought me clothes to change into and reminded me that we needed to talk. Mell went back to her book while Jesse and I ate. I offered to clean up but Emily insisted that I rest. She took the plates from me and asked Jesse to change my bandage. I waited for him on the bed with my legs folded beneath me. Jesse came back and lifted me onto his lap. He gently pulled the gauze and tape from my forehead and dabbed water across the jagged cut. When he finished cleaning it, he kissed lightly and put another bandage on it. After I was bandaged up again, Jesse left the room so I could change. When I came back out, he was gone and Mell was standing by the door. She lead me down to the beach.

"So...you still haven't told me what you wanted to talk about Mell."

"Well...you know Mason from school right? I love him so much and he loves me too, we've secretly dating for four months, and I don't want to hide our relationship anymore, but I know that my parents will hate him."

"Why would they hate him? They don't even know him."

"Because he's not Quileute, my parents have always wanted me to marry someone who was Quileute."

"Mell, this isn't marriage, you're just dating, besides, I don't think your parents hate me that much.

"That's because your Jesse's imprint, and you are part Quileute."

"They shouldn't be able to tell you who you can and can't be with. Everything is gonna be alright." I wrapped one arm around her shoulder and let her lean on me as we walked back to the house. As we got closer, I heard arguing and the voice of the one person who I really did not want to see. Mell looked at me, her way of asking whether I wanted to go inside. I pulled her along and we entered the house. Jake was nose to nose with Sam, demanding to see me. The feral look in his eyes scared me, I was afraid of him. Jesse saw me cower and quickly ushered me out the door. He lead me away from the house and to his car. We were on the way to Charlie and Sue's house when I grabbed his arm.

"No Jesse, lets leave Washington, never come back, I don't want to stay here. I just want to be with you away from this mess." Jesse sighed and pulled me into his arms. He stroked my hair and whispered to me. I couldn't stay here. I wanted to go away from Forks as far as possible, and the only person I wanted to go with was Jesse. I didn't want this life. I didn't like moving to Forks, I was mad at my mother, scared of Jake, and I couldn't see any way out. Why can't life be simpler? We sat there, just holding on to each other. It was peaceful, but knowing what lied ahead scared me.

Hope you guys liked this chapter! So far...5 for Dylan...5 for Drew...3 for Angus...3 for Kean...and 1 for Garrin! Please enter if you already haven't! I've decided to post the results on either the 25th or 26th and I'll probably post them separate from a chapter!

Please R/R guys

Lots of Love,

Lydia


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Forgiving And Forgetting

This is just a short filler chapter! Enjoy!

_CPOV_

I woke up from hazy slumber, not recognizing my surroundings. I remembered sitting in Jesse's car in his arms, pouring out my fear and misery. Now I woke up in his bed. He was holding, stroking my hair. His eyes were glazed over and he seemed to be staring into the black room deep in thought. When I nudged him, he didn't respond immediately. He blinked several times then looked down at me. He didn't smile, his face was splashed with guilt. He whispered that he was sorry. When I asked what he was sorry for, he turned away from me to the darkest corner of the room. I followed his gaze, there was a figure of a man in the corner. This still didn't explain what he was sorry for. The figure came towards us, as it got closer I was able to make out his distinct features. By the time I formed a picture of the man in my head, he had already come into the light. It was Jake. This must be what Jesse was sorry for.

He came closer to us and sat on the end of the bed. I pulled myself closer to Jesse, needing his love and protection for what was to come.

"I'm so, so sorry Cassidy."Jacob whispered, not bothering to look up at me. "Can you forgive me?" He asked, his voice was filled with grief and self pity. I didn't know what to say. Should I forgive him for hurting me? Could I forgive him for hurting me? I didn't want too, but something inside me told me I had to to be able to move on with my life. "I don't know if I can Jacob, I really want to but I just don't know, its a half-apology."I laughed at the last part. He looked up at me and grinned. "Thanks Cass, I didn't expect you to forgive at all." He lifted himself from the bed and headed towards the door. Before he left, he said one last thing, "Bella wants you to come home. She's gonna be pissed when I come without you, but I think you should decide if you want to come home." He turned back to me, waiting for my answer. "I want to stay here," I told him. With that, he walked out the door and into the brisk night. Once I heard the screen door slam, I fell back in to Jesse's chest and He immediately wrapped his arms around me. "I'm sorry about that, my parents insisted that he see you, and I'm also sorry that I brought you back here." This is strange, why is he saying sorry for bringing me back to his place? "Wait, why are you sorry, I don't want to leave." Why did he seem so upset with himself? "You don't remember anything that happened ion the car do you?"

"I only remember crying."

"You asked me to take you away from Forks, you wanted us to runaway. You were sick of all the lies your mom told you and you were afraid that Jake would hurt you again."

"That's ok, from the stress that I've had over the past weeks, I was probably just having a mental breakdown and I needed to vent." I looked up at Jesse, his face was still washed with guilt. "Hey, its ok Jesse, will you please believe me when I say that I'm glad you didn't take me cross country while I was sleeping." He nodded and pulled me closer, I sighed and wished all the pain and confusion that he and I had would melt away. Why was the Forks LaPush area a Hellmouth? Why here, the one place that I had to move to? Of course, if I hadn't moved, I never would have met Jesse.

He's my life now. I never want to leave him.

Hope you guys liked this teaser chapter!


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Time To Face The Music

This is another short filler chapter! Enjoy!

_CPOV_

Even though Jake had left, I found it hard to sleep. My mind was swimming with the weeks past events. Jesse spending the night, sneaking out the next morning, getting caught, getting slapped across the room. The one thing that could not leave my head was what Jake said last night about mom wanting me to come home. I'm scared of what she's going to say. Heck, I don't even want to know what she intends to say! I mean, I love my mom, and I want to see her again, but I don't want to leave Jesse. She knows where I am, she knows that I'm safe. Why isn't that enough?

When I rolled over the next morning, I expected to feel Jesse's rock hard chest against my arm, but instead I felt the warm covers of where he used to be. I opened one eye at a time and I saw him, buttoning a dress shirt? This is not his MO.

"What are you wearing?" I asked groggily.

"My parents want to talk to us when you get up."

"Since when did talking with your parents become a formal event." I said sarcastically.

"Its what we have to do afterwards that I'm wearing this for."

"K, k."

I moaned as I pulled myself from the bed. Once Jesse was sure that I had steadied myself, he tossed me some of Melanie's clothes. A blue and white sun dress, black flip-flops, and a light sweater. Where the hell were we going? When I came into the kitchen, I found Sam, Emily, and Jesse, talking in hushed whispers. I settled myself on the couch with Jesse, and rested my head onto his shoulder until Emily spoke.

"Cassidy, we want you to know that you're welcome to stay here as long as you want but..."She trailed off but Sam cut in to finish her sentence."But you have to talk with your mom Cass."

I smiled. "I know, I was actually planing to talk to her today."I knew I had to at so point so I might as well get it over with before I backed down. I pulled myself closer to Jesse.

"I guess we should get this over with now." I whispered to Jesse. He kissed my forehead and put his arms around me. I don't think that even a werewolf could protect me from my mothers wrath.

He lifted me from the couch and walked me out to his car with his arm wrapped around my waist. I held his hand on the way over thinking of what my mother would say and how I would respond. If I wasn't ready I would probably breakdown again. I watched the trees rush by the windows, wishing I wasn't speeding towards my mom in this car. I rolled down the window, hoping that the fresh air would relax me. Why couldn't the wind blow away all the fear and guilt I had built up inside of me. When we pulled into the driveway, I made sure I was out of the car before Jesse could even reach my door to help me out. I didn't want to fully depend on him, and I didn't want my mom to think I had given away all of my independence. When I opened the door, it opened immediately. Mom stood there. Shocked at first, but then she smiled. She pulled me into her arms.

"I missed you so much," She whispered to me. With that, we both started crying.

Hope you guys liked this short cliffy! Please r/r! Tomorrow is the last day to enter my contest!


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Understanding and Loss For Words

Here is your second (belated) Christmas Present! Enjoy! I'm introducing our first imprint in this chapter! Yay!

_Playlist_

_When It's Over-Sugar Ray_

_CPOV_

Wow, why isn't mom yelling and screaming at me? This is the kind of drastic thing she doesn't want me doing. I was prepared for her unending wrath. What the hell is going on? Oh well, I just hug her and not bring up what I was prepared for.

We stood there, hugging, will this moment ever end? She finally let go, and the blood my head had been denied started circulating again. Her eyes were red but her smile was radiant, she looked like a child on Christmas morning(an:I, of course looked like my mother had just forced me out of bed to go to school). She led Jesse and I to the couch she sat on the left side, while I clung to Jesse for support on the right side.

"I'm sorry mom," I said, staring pitifully at my lap.

"It's okay, I understand." Wait, is she saying what I think she said? This can't be happening, this is the part where she starts yelling and screaming.

"Hold up a sec mom, what do you mean? Are you serious, you're okay with the fact that I left home and haven't talked to you?"

"I left home once. Different circumstances of course, but I was scared, like you were, when you're scared, it's hard to think straight. You make stupid decisions. I know I did, but I think leaving was the best decision you could have made. You are coming back home Cassidy, right?"

"I don't know mom, I'm so confused right now. Is Jake still living here?"

"After that night I told him to leave, he never came back till two days ago. He said he was going to talk to you. I told him not to, but he wouldn't listen to me. He asked me if I had a message. I told him that I wanted you home. He came back to tell me your decision, and then I lost it. He stayed to comfort me, so I think he will be staying for a while, till he can figure things out with Natalie." Her voice was filled with disdain when she spoke of Natalie.

"I think I'm gonna stay with Jesse for a little longer, I don't want to move in again until I can trust Jake. I just want to take hings slow." Mom looked from me to Jesse, as if she was asking for approval.

"My parents said she can stay as long as she wants, their only condition was that she had to visit you first." I pulled myself closer to Jesse. I didn't want to hurt my mom but I didn't want to get hurt again, I knew that I'd be safe with Jesse.

"I want to come home mom, I really do, but I'm just not ready yet."Her face was pained, but she tried to smile, hoping I wouldn't notice her sorrow. Jesse and I got up to leave.

"I understand, but please Cassie, come home." Jesse and I made our way to the door.

"I promise mom, I will come home...eventually." I whispered the last part to myself. I didn't want to come home, I was happy with Jesse. He led me out to the car with his arm around my waist. I kept my head down, I couldn't bear looking at my mother again. I refused to look at Jesse on our way back to La Push. I couldn't think. I needed an escape. Luckily, Jesse saved me from myself, again. We pulled up to his house. He turned off the engine, but before I could get out he put his hand on my shoulder.

"There's a bonfire tonight, do you want to go, or would you like to stay home tonight?"Thank you, thank you Jesse. Once again you have saved me from being stupid by driving to Seattle in search of a dealer. I told him that the party was a good idea and that I couldn't wait. He brought me inside and we watched _Taking Woodstock_, which did lighten my mood, somewhat. Towards the end, Emily called and said that she needed Jesse to help set up for the bonfire. He tried to convince me to come with him, but I told him I'd rather stay at the house and wait for Mell. Of course, he didn't know that I promised her that I'd be at her house when she she brought Mason over, for moral support, and I needed some clothes, but I wanted to give her first pick since she was bringing Mason. Mell surprised me by bringing one of our friends from school with them. Lauren was about my height, maybe a half inch taller, she had blonde air that went to her shoulders and piercing blue eyes. We only had AP history together but we still saw each other a lot at school. We haven't seen each other for almost a week so she was pretty thrilled to seem me. I sat with her and Mason while Mell changed. I learned that Mason played basketball and was new to this area like me. He was also from DC, so we had a lot to talk about. When Mell came out, she was wearing a denim skirt that was way too short for my taste and a deep red halter party top. Wow, what is she doing, trying to seduce him on the same night she's trying to convince her parents to like him? I can't wait to see how this night will end. She sat down with them while I went to change into some of her clothes, damn, I should've picked up some clothes while visiting mom today. I decided I'd where something a little less trampy than Mell's ensemble. I settled with black skinny jeans, flip flops, and light brown tank. I pulled my hair into a bun and made my way to the living room. When we got to the beach, the boys were still setting up, gosh they're slow. When Jesse saw me his face lit up and I jogged over to him. He pulled me into his tight embrace and I smiled into his chest. He lifted my chin and pressed his lips to mine. This kiss wasn't demanding or heated, neither of us were interested in turning this kiss into a make out session in front of the others on the beach. When we stopped, I grinned, but biting my lip gave away my embarrassment. Jesse laughed and I smacked him on the chest. He complained saying that he wasn't laughing at me. I didn't believe him, but when he turned me around and I saw Angus staring at Lauren like an idiot, I couldn't keep myself from laughing.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Tell Me Why

Hey guys, I'm thinking about starting another contest. I'm going to give Cassie a guy friend (other than Jesse and the pack) and I will give you certain guidelines but you will have almost complete free range when deciding what he will be like! Review to tell me if you think I should start this or not. P.s. Did anyone watch the show in Vegas on abc after the ball dropped. I love Colbie Caillat's music! Does anyone know what happened to Justin Bieber, he was in a walking cast? And Selena's heels were way too high, she may be an actress, but she's still 17! One of bf's had to wear a walking cast to our graduation dance, she decided to go for the whole "Bella" look and wore a blue dress the landed an inch or two above her knees, she came in heels, but later changed into some chucks another friend brought for her! Happy reading!

_CPOV_

Angus stood there looking like an idiot with his eyes glued on her, it didn't take Lauren long to notice that she was being stared at. She shot death glares at him but his eyes wouldn't let up. When she came over to confront him, his daze finally ended and he gave her a cheeky grin, she still scowled at him but he finally got to her and she smiled too. When she noticed everyone smirking at them, she just rolled her eyes and whispered something in her ear. She nodded and he grabbed her hand and led her towards the fire. Wonder what they could be talking about?

I turned towards Jesse again, he flashed me a brilliant smile. The smile that made my knees weak and my heart beat faster. He leaned down and touched my nose to his, then put his hand around my waist and led me down the beach. We walked until we reached the edge of the forest, while we walked, I thought about our future together. I thought about the two of this taking walks on the beach like this everyday, college in Boston, speaking of which I should probably make sure mom is okay with Jesse and I going to stay with Amanda. Several weeks ago she sent me an email, asking me how life in hell was. She also offered the guest rooms at her place anytime I wanted to visit the city for shopping and clubbing, our two favorite pastimes while I was living in Boston. And of course she invited Jesse to come. Mom may allow it, Jesse's parents most likely will, if Jake finds out, there is no way in hell he will let me go, and there is no way in hell that he can stop me. I guess this is my chance to bring it up. -"Hey Jesse, one of my friends invited us to visit her in Boston, do you want to?"

"Sure, we...wait did you say 'us'?"

-"Yeah, she invited me and YOU to stay with her in Boston for a week or so, do you want to? We can visit Harvard too, the campus is amazing, so is the night lif-" He cut me off.

"Wait, we can't just leave Cassidy!"He stuttered as he said this, astounded that I would even suggest that.

-"Why not, all we have to do is ask our parents, let Manda know we're coming, and buy our plain tickets it's that simple. I'll call my Aunt and Uncle and see if they can take a break from their world tour, Manda and I will show the city, you'll meet my friends from Newman, we'll hit some clubs, it'll be fun!"

"No, we can't go Cass, we can't just up and leave, why don't you want to stay here?"

-" Jesse, I wasn't saying lets run away and get married, I'm saying, lets take a break!" Am I speaking in a different language? Why is this so hard for him to understand?

"I'm not saying we shouldn't go, I'm just saying now's not the right time." He tried to speak calmly but I could see that he was getting frustrated. I don't give a crap if he tells me to move, I'm not some slave that will listen to his every command. I don't care if I get hurt again, just another battle scar.

-"What's wrong with now, I haven't seen my friends for a while, you need to get moving on narrowing down your list of colleges, so its a win win situation for both of us."

"Cass, stop arguing, move I don't want-" I cut him off.

-"I don't give a shit! I'm not afraid of you, I'm tough, I can handle-"This time, it was his turn to interrupt.

"Cass,"He warned. Then he phased, and, of course, I was in the way.

Instead of being thrown across the beach like last time, I was tackled this time. I felt Jesse's claws scrape deep into my shoulder blade. I lost my breathe, I heard the desperate voices and saw the horrified faces of the people who came rushing over to us. Then, I blacked out.

Ooooo, cliffy guys! So, if you like my idea for an addition to my cast of characters, let me know. Also, don't send me your ideas, review, of course, and add whether you think this is a good idea or not! Thanks!


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

Leave You Behind

I just posted the contest requirements! I want everyone to enter, I want a lot of choices!

_Playlist_

_Tattoo-Jordan Sparks_

_CPOV_

When my vision became clear again, I saw bright lights shinning all around me. They all pointed towards me. I felt the tautness of the cotton sheets beneath me and the rough blanket covering me. The room was freezing. I'm either in the hospital or in a room full of werewolves. It's the hospital. Definitely. The awful sheets and the bright lights all point to that conclusion. Okay, time to answer my three basic questions. Why am I here? That's obvious, I'm injured, or sick, or I work here and I'm taking a nap. It can't be the third one cause al the lights are on. What happened? Lets see, the last thing I remember was arguing with Jesse. Oh yeah, I made him mad, refused to move, he phased, and I got hurt. Typical me. Third question, when do I get out of this place? Well, I guess I'll have to ask the doctor that one, when I come to of course. I closed my eyes again but I couldn't go back to sleep. When I opened my eyes, everything was clearer than before. I could see the IV pole and vitals monitor on the right, and a small couch to the left. The walls were stark white and the floors were linoleum, giving the room a clean, functional appearance. I noticed the clamp on my finger. Ah, can't have the monitor without the sensor. I started pulling at it but a hand caught mine, and I looked up. I was to preoccupied with figuring out where I was that I didn't notice my mom sitting next to me.

"Ah,ah,ah." She scolded me

-"What happened mom?" I asked groggily.

"Well, you were at the bon fire with Jesse. You two were arguing but he hasn't told us what about. He got angry and when you wouldn't move, he phased." She said.

-"Yes mom, I can see that,"I replied, annoyed, "But what happened to me physically, why am I here?"

"When he phased, he tackled you. He cut deeply into your left shoulder blade and you got hit pretty hard on the head and fell into a coma." She stifled out.

-"Uggghh, thats why I feel awful right now."I moaned and threw my head back. I don't care if people think I shouldn't complain. I was in a damn coma! Induced by my boyfriend-who might soon be my EXboyfriend.

_No matter what you say about life_

_I learn every time I bleed_

_The truth is a stranger, soul is in danger_

Ah, speak of the devil. Jesse came rushing in with Jake at his heels. Jesse came to the side of the bed, and apologized to me. I didn't say anything, didn't even bother to look up. When I finally looked up, I stared into his eyes and simply told him "Leave, I don't want to talk about it." He was dumbfounded. If I hadn't felt so crappy, I might have laughed at the look on his face. He was ushered out by Jake, and Jesse, surprisingly, did not protest. Jake took Jesse's spot. I asked him if he ha hurt Jesse. Just because I hated his guts didn't mean that I would let Jake beat him up.

_I gotta let my spirit be free_

_To admit that I'm wrong_

_And then change my mind_

_Sorry but I have to move on_

_And leave you behind_

When I had a chance to examine my injuries I noted that most of my left arm was covered in gauze and my stomach was covered with scratches. I rolled my eyes at the injuries, why the hell am I being cooped up for these, they're all minor. I spent the next few days in that bed, being woken up by beeping monitors and empty drip bag alarms. And of course, visitors. The only person who didn't come to offer their condolences was Melanie. She came as an advocate for her brother. She told me that he had been sitting in his room, refusing to eat. I did feel sorry, but, its hard to forgive these things, he broke his promise to me.

_I gotta let my spirit be free_

_To admit that I'm wrong_

_And then change my mind_

_Sorry but I have to be strong _

_And leave you behind_

By the time I was out of the hospital and back to school, I had piles of missed work to make up. I had work from my stay in the hospital and from the time I missed while staying with Jesse. This is going to be hard.

On my first day back to school, I wore flare jeans, purple moccasins, and a maroon thermal top. My hair fell in waves on my shoulders and I wore a headband to keep my hair out of my face. I applied dark blue eye shadow, deep red lip stain, black mascara, and eye liner. Back to my old rebellious self. Normally I can expect what will happen to me, I plan ahead. But meeting _him__, _was something I did not plan on.

Hope you guys liked. I will be introducing my new character in the next chapter IF I get more entries. Its not that hard people, just think of your dream guy and describe him! R/R please!


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

The Boy Next Door

Hey all, so I'm in trouble at the moment, I think I'm allowed to be on the computer, my mom didn't say that I couldn't this morning. I have made an official decision, I can't decide which entry to use because I only like bits and pieces of each, so I will take the parts I will like from my favorite entries. I will list the here, and use in-text citations!

Winners

_Leslie 23_

_Ally's Angel's_

_ali-rose95_

_CPOV_

I got many looks when I walked into school the next morning. Thankfully I was informed of all the rumors. Now that Lauren was in on the secret, she stuck close to my side now that Melanie wasn't speaking to me. Rumor had it that I had run away, back to the streets of Boston to do drugs and become a prostitute. False. Others said I went down to Seattle, found a dealer, and overdosed. False. Another was that I was kidnaped by a gang. Well, that was partly true, the gang part, the kidnaping not so much.

Lauren left my side as we approached my locker. I wanted her to stay, I needed her support. I was strong, but even strong people need a little help now and then, and this is when I desperately needed it. But, lucky for me, the boy next door was there to lend a hand.

I spent less time getting my books, I didn't like the feeling that everyone was watching me. Normally I socialize till the last 30 seconds before first hour, but today, I couldn't shake the feeling that my every move was being watched by judgmental eyes. I slammed my locker shut, the loud clash of metal against metal startled me. On the other side was probably the most cocky, arrogant, self-centered, lovable guy I will ever meet. He leaned against the row of lockers, one arm draped over them, the other clutching books at his side. He had deep, sea blue eyes(Ally's Angel's) that you could get lost in, his hair was cut the same way Gaspard Ulliel's in _Hannibal Rising_ except for the difference in hair color. The guy leaned against the locker had melted chocolate hair. I would've thought he would be a decent guy, but his smile gave him away. He had a cocky, almost smile(P.C. And Kristen Cast), that led me to believe he was the hot, bad-boy type of guy(P.C. And Kristen Cast), but that smile still takes my breath away. He was taller than me but not as tall as _Jesse_. I guess he was expecting me to smile back at him like most would, but he was in my way, so I pulled my lips into a straight line, tilted my head, and glared at him. All of this made his lips pull into a full smile. He started the introductions.

"Hi, I'm Austin(Leslie23), you're Casey right." I sighed, what was his problem, everyone in the school knew me by now as the girl who cut class for two weeks.

-"My name is Cassidy. Not Casey. Now would you please move, I have to gt to class." What is wrong with this guy?

"Relax, Casey, we've got fifteen minutes."

-"My name is _Cassidy_, not **Casey**, _Cassidy_."

"Well Casey, I was wondering if you would show me around, I'm new and we live next door to each other."

-"There's only one other family in my neighborhood, and they live five doors down."

"Well, I moved in while you were still at the hospital."

-"How the hell do you know I was at the hospital?"

"I live next door, I went over to your house and your father said you were at the hospital, he was just about to leave to visit you."

-"I don't have a father." What is wrong with this guy? Is he trying to annoy me on purpose?

"Then why'd he say he was your father."

-"Because I refuse to accept what everyone says, now would you please move."

"No, you still haven't answered my question."

-"What question was that?" Ok, this guy is seriously pissing me off.

"Would you show me around?" At this point, if I ever wanted to get to class, I would have to give in.

-"If I do will you stop bothering me?"

"Yes, but I can't guarantee that I'll leave you alone forever." I was fed up with this, so I grabbed his hand and led him down the hall. Our last stop was my first class, art.

-"Ok, I've shown you everything, now I have to go to class." Finally, I'll be rid of him.

"Hold up,"He grabbed my arm before I made it through the door, "This is my class too." Damn, just my luck, I get stuck with the jerk who won't leave me alone. He put his arm around my waist and led us through the door. During art class we started working on new paintings. We were attempting to make recreations of masterpieces. He chose Da Vinci's "Mona Lisa." I chose Van Gogh's "Starry Night."

How'd you like it? Not all my winner's were credited because their parts will come in later chapters! I also want to see if anyone can figure out in what tv show, the main character was called a name by her guy friend that was different from her actual name!


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

Music and Lyrics

Hey guys, right now I am sitting in my stuffy office that I share with my mother, unfortunately, but today is her birthday so I guess I have to speak highly of her! Anyway, this chapter takes place several weeks after the end of the last chapter. Don't worry I'll talk about what has happened in the past few weeks.

_Playlist_

_What You Mean To Me-? (I want everyone to review and guess the artist, you've probably never heard him/her)_

_Fallin' For You-Colbie Caillat_

_Falling Apart-Matt Nathanson_

_(BTW: Last chapter and this chapter are dedicated to Leslie23's brother Austin! Tell him I say hi Leslie!)_

_CPOV_

Over the next few weeks Austin and I became better friends, I was really the only girl he ever talked to during school, which according to Lauren was dangerous because most of the populars that she's friends with said they'd kill to be his girlfriend. I mean, he's definitely a looker, but he's my friend and you just don't date friends. Heck, I'm still kinda shocked that we're friends. He's the most cocky, arrogant, proud guy that I know, and I've never been into guys like that, but there's something different about him. The way he talks, that sarcastic honey-like voice, the grin on his face after I scowl at him for laughing at me when I trip. Now we're attached at the hip. I go where he goes, he goes where I go. We always work together on projects together, I help him in A.P. U.S. History, he helps me in Trigonometry. We mostly work at my house. My mom won't stop thinking we're going out, she says he reminds her of Jake, and Jake, not that I care what he thinks, completely adores Austin. The only thing different about today is that we're working at his house. I've never set foot in there and I don't think today will be the day either because he leads me straight to the garage behind his house. I have no clue why we're going here until I walk in and take a look around. This garage looks a lot smaller on the outside. I see a lost towards the back. There's a full size bed with navy blue sheets and a chest of drawers from Ikea. He also had his desk up there it was piled with colored pencils, paper, and sheet music? His laptop was on his bed along with more sheet music and blank paper. I would have asked what all this stuff was doing in his room, until I noticed the hundreds of painted canvases that surrounded me. I also noticed an upright piano and two guitars, one electric and one acoustic. Most of the paintings on the left were landscapes or replicas of famous works, but the right side was filled with pictures of a girl. She had long amber brown hair and peachy cream skin. She had long dark eyelashes that graced over her chocolate brown eyes. Some paintings were of her in a flowery meadow, but in most she was just staring, into the distance, out of a window, looking like she was expecting someone who she was desperately waiting for someone to rescue her from a dark past. Austin caught me staring at them.

"You like them?" He asked, whispering into my ear. I hadn't noticed how close he moved to me.

-"Are, those, of me?" I whispered back, still in shock of being surrounded by paintings that looked suspiciously like me.

"Yeah, they are." His arm rested across my shoulders, I wasn't sure if I liked how close our bodies were, but I didn't want to shove him away. I looked up at him.

-"Really, why did you paint me?"

"Well Casey, you're my best friend, and I wanted to paint you."

-"Ok, but I didn't know you played or wrote music."

"Yeah, I don't talk about it much." He answered self-consciously, rubbing the back of his neck.

-"Would you play something for me?" I asked with I smile. I knew he would give in. He once said I could manipulate anyone with that smile.

"Fine, but don't laugh."

He grabbed his acoustic and led me up the ladder to his loft. I threw myself on to the bed, kicked off my shoes and curled my feet up while falling back into the pillows. He sat next to me on the bed and took some sheet music from the nightstand and started to play...

_Seeing you, standing there_

_gives me shivers down my spine_

_so quiet, so serene_

_you help me go on_

_You give me life_

_you feed my soul_

_why can't you see_

_that we're meant to be_

_Do you love me?_

_Do you hate me?_

_Do you just wanna be friends?_

_Please tell me, before I come to an end..._

_If I go, I'm never coming back_

_its the point of no return_

_I love you, do you love me?_

_Cause you're not given me any signs._

_So if you don't see me tomorrow _

_know that its all your fault_

_Do you love me?_

_Do you hate me? _

_Do you just wanna be friends?_

_Please tell me before I come to an end..._

_When its all said and done_

_you'll know why, you'll know why_

_I hope you'll know what you meant to me._

"Did you like it?" He whispered to me after holding out the last note.

-"It was, amazing Austin, did you write that for me?" I hoped he didn't think I was positive it was for me and that to make me feel good he'd half to lie. I just assumed that it was for me because of the many paintings of me that covered the walls in his room. He tilted his head down and smirked, hoping I wouldn't see it. When he looked up, his eyes met mine. I never noticed how beautiful his eyes were. They were deep pools of sea blue that you could so easily drown in if you didn't have the strength to resist the pull. Why does he seem so appealing all of a sudden?

_I don't know, but I think I may be fallin' for you_

_droppin' so quickly, maybe I should keep this to myself_

_wait until I know you better_

He put the guitar down and moved closer to me. He brought his hand to my cheek. He stroked it softly making blood rise to my cheeks. This was too much. I had to pull away.

-"I think I should go," I whispered. I pushed myself off the bed.

Sorry I haven't updated in awhile! Also, if you want to see my inspiration for my characters... Joan (_Joan of Arcadia_) and Faith (_Angel/Buffy_) are my inspiration for Cassidy, and Adam (_Joan of Arcadia_) is my inspiration for Austin (Besides Leslie23's brother!)! BTW: the show I mentioned in my last chapter was _Joan of Arcadia_. Adam called her "Jane" instead of Joan! Also, I like Faith better in Angel in the last 3 episodes she guest starred in so if you want to see my true inspiration, check there. They are in the 4th season, "Salvage," "Release," and "Orpheus!"

PS: Review to tell me what you think of my inspiration and who wrote the first song I mentioned under "Playlist!" R/R!


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

Play Me A Song

So guys, I decided to type this one pretty fast. Hope you like it!

_Playlist_

_Your Body Is A Wonderland-John Mayer_

_Life After You-Daughtry_

_Collide-Howie Day_

_I'll Be-Edwin McCain_

_Way Back Into Love-Hugh Grand and Haley Bennett_

_CPOV_

Austin never brought up that afternoon.

_Last time we talked, the night that I walked_

_Burns like an iron in the back of my mind_

_I must've been high to say you and I_

_Weren't meant to be and just wasting my time_

Over the next few weeks, we grew even closer than I had with Jesse. Heck, I knew more about him than I ever knew about some of my closest friends. I could recite his top ten favorite foods, songs, movies, artists, animals, and colors in under a minute, which, by the way, is not an easy thing to do. He was constantly sketching and writing songs for me. But today, he promised to take on a drive. Except, I have no idea where we will be driving.

That morning I slept in till 10 and forced myself out of bed at 10:15. I wore denim cutoffs, a white tank top, and one of Austin's button ups. Wonder what he's got in store for me today? Jake's been staying with us, but on the couch in the living room. I've grown closer to him. I mean, it's still hard 'cause I feel like he left me, but I definitely get why mom always said I was more like him than her. It's strange; Jake is no where near as paranoid about my relationship with Austin than he was about my relationship with Jesse. He didn't mind that I practically spent all my time in his garage or that he was practically sleeping over at our place. Mom, well mom, has always been supportive of me and all of my decisions, well except the pot and strip poker back in Boston.

By the time I hauled my ass down stairs, Austin and Jake were already up, eating all my pancakes! Jerks!

_All that I'm after, is a life full of laughter_

_As long as I'm laughing with you_

_I'm thinking that all that still matters, is love ever after_

_After the life we've been through_

When Austin saw me trudge down the stairs, his face lit up, the corners of his lips had small droplets of syrup. Once I saw those, I started cracking up, and jogged down the rest of the stairs. I stumbled over to the table, smacked his head, and lazily made my way to the chair across the table from him, with a grin on my face the whole time. He was still smiling, which forced me to roll my eyes at him, what was up with him today? I kicked him under the table. Mom brought me a plate of pancakes, which I graciously choked down. As soon as set my fork down, Austin was up and out of his chair.

"So, ready to go?" He asked, practically jumping up and down.

-"Uh, first, where the heck are we going?"

"Well, you'll just have to wait and see." Mom laughed, Jake smirked, and I grumbled. And Austin still had that ridiculous grin on his face. He led me towards his pickup, and tossed me a blindfold.

-"What the hell is this for?" I asked, in shock for a second.

"Well, I don't want you to know where we are going until we get there." I growled (where did that come from?) and threw it back at him.

"Come on Case, if you don't put it on you'll ruin the surprise." I ignored him and got in the car. But, being the insistent person that he was, leaned over. His strong forearms grazed my shoulders as he brought his callused hands to tie the blindfold. I unconsciously leaned into his arms, wanting a little of his strength and support to rub off on me, or maybe I wanted something else? God, I think I am falling for him, but why, why am I? Don't I get a say in who I do and don't fall for? I guess The Powers that Be are against me today. Wait, they're against me everyday.

Austin started the car and before I knew it, we were speeding down the highway. I barely noticed the time passing by or Austin resting his hand on mine. When he stopped the car, I could hear crashing waves. Oh shit he didn't- he brought me to First Beach. Damnit! His hands came to the back of my head and quickly pulled off the blindfold. He was too excited to notice my hesitant smile. We got out of the truck; he pulled out a blanket and his acoustic from the bed. We walked about halfway down the beach, and settled ourselves in the sand.

"Surprised?" He asked nervously.

-"Thoroughly, so I take it you want to play me something new?" I questioned.

"Nope, I decided I should start playing some of your favorite songs, not the crappy ones I come up with."

-"Well, not all of them are crappy." We both laughed at that one.

(AN: So guys, I will now write the lyrics to several of my fav songs, and I will have Cassidy's thoughts and opinions of them, I also want you to review and tell me which one is your fav and why!)

He pulled out the acoustic and began to play…

_We got the afternoon _

_You got us a room for two_

_One thing I've left to do_

_Discover me_

_Discovering you_

_One mile to every inch of_

_Your skin like porcelain_

_One pair of candy lips and_

_Your bubblegum tongue_

_Cause if you want love _

_We'll make it_

_Swim in a deep sea_

_Of blankets_

_Take all your big plans_

_And break em'_

_This is bound to be awhile_

_Your body is a wonderland_

_Your body is a wonderland _

_Your body is a wonderland_

Ok, is he trying to tell me that he wants to sleep with? We haven't even kissed and we are just friends, I think. But, he does know that John Mayer is my most favorite guy singer and he knows this is my favorite John Mayer song, so that might be why he's playing it. Am I right?

_The dawn is breaking_

_A light shinning through_

_You're barely walking_

_And I'm tangled up in you, yeah_

_I'm open, you're closed_

_Where I follow, you'll go_

_I worry I won't see your face_

_Light up again_

_Even the best fall down sometimes_

_Even the wrong words seem to rhyme_

_Out of the doubt that fills my mind_

_I somehow find you and I collide_

_I'm quiet you know_

_You make a first impression_

_I've found I'm scared to know_

_I'm always on your mind_

_Even the best fall down sometimes_

_Even the wrong words seem to rhyme_

_Out of the doubt that fills my mind_

_I somehow find you and I collide_

Is he saying he's afraid I'll leave him? Well I won't "leave" him, we're not dating. God, I love his voice. It can lull you to sleep at night and wake you up bright and early the next morning. I think he's saying that he loves me and is open to dating me, but he knows I'm still…not.

_The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful_

_Stop me to steal my breath_

_And emeralds from mountains thrust toward the sky_

_Never revealing their depth_

_Tell me that we belong together,_

_Dress it up with the trappings of love._

_I'll be captivated,_

_I'll hang from your lips,_

_Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above._

_I'll be your crying shoulder,_

_I'll be love's suicide_

_I'll be better when I'm older,_

_I'll be the greatest fan of your life._

_And rain falls angry on the tin roof_

_As we lie awake in my bed._

_You're my survival, you're my living proof._

_My love is alive—not dead._

_Tell me we belong together._

_Dress it up with the trappings of love._

_I'll be captivated,_

_I'll hang from your lip,_

_Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above._

Is he telling me that he just wants to be there for me, or is he telling me he loves? Why is he so cryptic? He knows that I love listening to this song; I always listen to it to help me fall asleep at night. It makes me feel like there will always be someone there to comfort me when I'm sad, laugh when I'm happy.

By the change in his stature I can tell he's nervous about this next song, so I think I'll take over… I have too it is a duet after all…

_C: I've been living with a shadow overhead_

_I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed_

_I've been lonely for so long_

_Trapped in the past I just can't seen to move on_

_A: I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away_

_Just in case I ever need them again someday_

_I've been setting aside time_

_To clear a little space in the corners of my mind_

_CA: All I want to do is find a way back into love_

_I can't make it through without a way back into love_

_Oh oh oh_

_C: I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine_

_I've been searching but I just don't see the signs_

_I know that it's out there_

_There's got to be soul somewhere_

_A: I've been looking for someone to shed some light_

_Not somebody just to get me through the night_

_I could use some direction_

_And I'm open to your suggestions_

_CA: All I want to do is find a way back into love_

_I can't make it through without a way back into love_

_And if I open my heart again_

_I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end_

_Oh oh oh_

_Oh oh oh_

_Oh oh oh _

_C: There are moments when I don't know if it's real_

_Or if anybody feels the way I feel_

_I need inspiration_

_Not just another negotiation_

_CA: All I want to do is find a way back into love_

_I can't make it through without a way back into love_

_And if I open my heart to you_

_I'm hoping you'll show me what to do_

_And if you help me to start again_

_You know that I'll be there for you in the end_

_Oh oh oh_

_Oh oh oh_

_Oh oh oh _

_Oh oh oh _

_Oh oh oh_

_Oh oh oh _

_Oh oh oh_

I can't believe he had the guts to sing that duet with me. He knows I love the song and the movie, but he absolutely hates it. All the songs that he played, speak to my soul. They help me get through tough times; make me feel better about myself. I couldn't help but smile. Austin's like my other half. We know everything about the other; we can practically read each others minds, pun not intended. Something's wrong. A second ago the wattage of his smile could light up NYC for a day, but now he's frowning, he practically looks self-conscious. He tilted his head up, motioning for me to turn around. Standing about ten feet from us was Jesse.

Sorry bought the cliffy, but you guys deserved it, I didn't even get ten reviews for the last chapter, so you people need to step it up if you ever want even the first sentence of the next chapter, cause you'll never know who Cassie ends up with and if Jake and Bella get back together!


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

Complicated

So I decided to add a new chapter, I got more reviews than I have been getting but, I WANT MORE! I am serious; I will stop writing if I don't get AT LEAST 10 more reviews for this chapter! Anyway, without further ado… Also, I only had 1 person guess who wrote that song from 2 chapters ago so I want you all to guess, she guessed incorrectly by the way.

_Playlist_

_Goodnight and Go-Imogen Heap_

_She Will Be loved-Maroon 5_

_CPOV_

And there he was, the guy who I fell in love with months ago, with his shirt off of course. All of a sudden, thousands of emotions came flying at me. Hate, anger, fear, sadness, hope, joy, love, adoration. Why does this have to be so complicated?

When I pushed myself up from the blanket he stood his ground. I took my time walking over to him, hoping and praying he wouldn't turn and walk away. I shoved my hands in the pockets of Austin's jacket and kept my head towards the sand as I approached him. When I reached him I looked up and gave him a weak smile. Here goes nothing…

-"Hey, how are you?" I asked, unsure of what his answer would be.

"Fine" He answered, keeping a straight face.

-"Come on Jesse, are we going back to one word sentences?" I asked, trying to lighten the conversation.

"_We_ ended when you told me to leave" He said, very sure of himself.

- "Yeah, sorry about that" I whispered, ashamed of the pain I had caused him. I had been having the time of my life, while he was moping, hurting because he couldn't be beside me. "Really, how have you been?"

"Fine" He said again, with a little more emphasis this time.

-"Damnit Jesse, I really want to know, I know I acted like a jerk, but you can't actually think I don't care about you!" I replied, annoyed by his short answers.

"Well last time I checked, you already moved on, so why should I assume you still care" I didn't notice that Austin had gotten up from the blanket and was now standing behind me, wrapping his arms around my shoulders. When I turned back to face Jesse again, he was already walking away. I shrugged off Austin's shoulders and ran after Jesse.

When I reached him, I threw my arms around his neck, which forced him to stop, and whispered in his ear.

- "I never stopped loving you, I just needed time" I kissed his cheek and rested my head in the space between his jaw bone and shoulder. Before he had the chance to put his arms around me, I pulled away. "I so sorry," I whispered before I turned to walk back to Austin. Before I sat on the blanket, I turned; Jesse was no where in sight. Austin came over to me and pulled me into his lap. He wrapped his arms around me and stroked my hair. I lay in his arms, staring out at the water. The sky was getting dark but I had no intention of leaving soon. He begins to whisper "She Will Be Loved" to me.

_Beauty queen of only eighteen_

_She had some trouble with herself_

_He was always there to help her_

_She always belonged to someone else_

_I drove for miles and miles_

_And wound up at your door_

_I've had you so many times but somehow_

_I want more_

_I don't mind spening everyday_

_Out on you corner in the pouring rain_

_Look for the girl with broken smile_

_Ask her if she wants to stay awhile_

_And she will be loved _

_She will be loved_

_Tap on my window knock on my door_

_I want to make you feel beautiful _

_I know I tend to get so insecure_

_It doesn't matter anymore_

_It's not always rainbows and butterflies_

_It's compromise that moves us along, yeah_

_My heart is full and my door's always open_

_You can come anytime you want_

_I don't mind spending everyday_

_Out on your corner in the pouring rain_

_Look for the girls with broken smile_

_Ask her if she wants to stay awhile_

_And she will be loved_

_And she will be loved_

_And she will be loved_

_And she will be loved_

_I know where you hide_

_Alone in your car_

_Know all the things that make you who you are_

_I know goodbye means nothing at all_

_Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls_

_I don't mind spending everyday_

_Out on your corner in the pouring rain_

_Look for the girls with broken smile_

_Ask her if she wants to stay awhile_

_And she will be loved_

_And she will be loved_

_And she will be loved_

_And she will be loved_

Is he telling me he's okay with me loving Jesse, not him? God, I don't want to leave him. I love him so much, but I'm not sure in what kind of way. As a friend or as something more.

Once he thought I was passed out he carried me back to the car. When we got home, I made it known that I had been awake, barely, the whole time. I asked him if we could stay in the car longer. I assumed he was fine with this because he pulled me back into his arms. He cradled me for God knows how long, and then finally carried me inside. Surprisingly, it was mom who jumped to conclusions. She assumed I had been hurt and started ranting to Austin about how he should have been more careful. Once Jake calmed her, Austin brought me upstairs. I heard mom move towards the stairs, but I heard Jake stop her before she reached them. Austin set me on the bed and removed his jacket, that I was wearing, and my flip-flops. He pulled to covers over me and leaned over. He kissed my forehead and then my lips; I wish I had been a little more conscious because I would've kissed him back.

So, how'd you guys like it? I can't decide who Cassidy should end up with, so I want you guys to review and tell me which guy. I haven't decided when you can stop sending in votes, so as of today you have the rest of time to vote!


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

Never Felt This Way

So guys, I think you will be disappointed with my news...first off, for those of you who do write fanfic, you guys know how hard the pull between pleasing your readers and pleasing yourself. So, I'm sending this story in the direction I see fit, please don't be mad guys, I honestly tried writing this chapter differently, but it just turned out to be crap because I wasn't putting my heart into it! So, please understand, this version will be much less crappy then the other one I write. Please review, tell me what you think!

_Playlist_

_I Won't Say I'm in Love-Susan Egan_

_My Best Friend-Tim McGraw_

_Wind Beneath My Wings-Bette Midler_

_Roll To Me-Del Amitri_

_Because You Loved Me-Celine Dion_

_Once Upon A Broken Heart-The Beu Sisters_

_If You Only Knew-Shinedown_

_CPOV_

The next morning I woke up, tangled in my covers. I had a smile on my face even though I was exhausted. That's when yesterday's events plastered, front and center in my mind. When will my indecisiveness end? I love Austin so much. Did I really just admit that? Man, my day is not off to a good start. Well Cassidy, its time to admit it, I am officially and undeniably in love with Austin; my best-friend, confidante, muse. The sound of vibrating wood next to my bed, ahh, speak of the devil. I looked at the caller ID, the image of the boy with the cocky smile I loved so much. I grinned and pressed Talk, holding the phone to my ear.

-"Hey Casey!" He shouted, to enthusiastically for my ears to handle.

"Ug, bring it down a notch, its too early to shout like that." I whispered.

-"Sorry Case, but its 11:00 and I thought you'd be up by now."

"Well you thought wrong and I'm going to hang up if you don't tell me what was so important that you had to disturb me."

-"I just wanted to make sure that you can still come to the art show tonight." Shit, that is tonight, I completely forgot, good thing I bought a dress a month ago.

"Oh, yeah, that is tonight isn't it, what time do I need to be ready by?"

-"Oh, I'll meet you at your house around 3:00ish, and then we can drive down to Seattle." Wait, did he just say Seattle?

"SEATTLE, but wait that's four hours one way! Both of us are going to be way to tired to drive home."

-"That's why I booked a hotel stupid."

"Wait, a hotel, my mom will never let that happen, even though we're just friends." I emphasized the friends part.

-"Don't worry, I already cleared it with your mom and Jake. They're both fine with it, actually Jake's the one who suggest we stay in Seattle because he knew we'd be tired." Oh, the one person who I was expecting to help me out, had already fed me to the dogs, great, just great.

"Guess I'd better get up, see you at three." I didn't wait for a reply, I just hung up, cause I had to get ready.

Turns out, mom knew about the whole thing, but she just couldn't wake me up. I ignored her as I drenched my Ego waffles in blueberry syrup. I practically shoved my waffles down throat, rushing around to get ready. Before I started my shower, I packed clothes for our night in Seattle. I smothered my hair in Root Awakening shampoo then dabbed Hohoba conditioner on the ends of my hair. I covered my arms and legs with sweet smelling Pomegranate and Mango body wash, then shaved my legs in a rush. I hurriedly jumped out of the shower and rushed to grab the hair dryer from the basket resting on the charcoal black granite. Unfortunately, my hair decided to be stubborn today, and took about fifteen minutes longer that normal to dry. I twisted my hair into a messy bun and pinned it to my head with a jaw clip. I brought out my chocolate brown eyes with four more shades of brown eyeshadow. I used my favorite pink lip gloss and rushed around the room, clad in only my robe. I yanked my dress from the closet and rushed to fit it over my head, it was already 2:45. My dress was a mix of black jersey and silk. The fabric had the flexibility of jersey, but the smoothness of silk. It was a halter dress that showed my skin from my neck to my hipbone. It ran down to my mid thigh then split and ended on the mid calf of my other leg. It was not one piece of fabric, a second was attached at my waist and the seam traveled down my thigh, accentuating my almost non existent curves.

The dress slipped from my finger tips and clung to my flesh. I tied the strings around my neck and slipped on my black stilettos. I took a good look at myself in the full length mirror, well I looked decent enough. Then I heard the doorbell ring. Why didn't Austin just come in, Jake gave him his own key due to the amount of time he spends over here? I grabbed my overnighter and slowly walked down the steps. The guy waiting for me at the bottom was not who I was expecting.

I looked up at the guest and froze on the stairs. "Um, Jesse, what are you doing here?" This is really awkward.

-"I know, I know, I shouldn't have come over here so unexpectedly, but I have to talk to you."

Oh no. "Now's really not a good ti-" I was cut off by the click of the front door. In walked Austin. He was attired in black slacks and a white oxford, untucked of course. His face lit when he saw me on the stairs.

-"You look gorgeous Cassidy." Hey, he finally used my name. Of course, my happiness didn't last any longer, because that's when Austin noticed I had company. "Oh, I didn't know you had company." Austin said, sounding a little put-out.

"No, Jesse was just leaving. I'll meet you in the car." Austin nodded, and headed toward the door, hesitant at first, but trusted my judgement and continued out the door. "Jesse, I really have to go, Jesse and I are going to be late, we can talk some other time."

-"Wait, where are you two going?" Oh gosh, here goes nothing.

"Austin's art show in Seattle is tonight and he asked me to come along."

-"But, Seattle's four hour's away, you are intending to drive all night?"

"No stupid, Austin reserved a hotel room for us." Shit, he's starting to shake. I shoved myself past him and out the door as fast as I could. Austin was waiting for me with the engine running and his head resting against the wheel. "Ok, time to go Austin." He put the car in reverse and we sped out of the driveway and away from Forks.

-"Hey, so, I made a playlist for the road trip." Good I need some music. I nodded and he put a CD in the stereo. And we sang along for most of the car ride. And, of course, I could count on Austin to put on songs all talking about friendship.

_I never had no one_

_I could count on_

_I've been let down so many times_

_I was tired of hurtin'_

_So tired of searchin'_

_'til you walked into my life_

_It was a feelin'_

_I'd never known_

_And for the first time_

_I didn't feel alone_

Well Tim McGraw was a good way to warm me up for the verses to come.

_Look around your world pretty baby_

_Is it everything you hoped it'd be_

_The wrong guy, the wrong situation_

_The right time to roll to me_

_Roll to me_

Ok, good, he hasn't given up yet. I think it would kill me if he did, he took me out of my lonely phase, brought me back into reality, a reality with him in it. Jesse was just one chapter in my life, Austin is the rest of them. Oh shit, I feel like I'm already planning out our improbable future, that might not even exist. For the rest of the car ride, we sang along to the playlist. When we arrived in Seattle, we immediately went to the show.

The building was white marble, in the same rectangular shape as the Parthenon, with out the pillars though. Austin and I walked through the glass doors with his arm around my waist. Even though he wasn't as warm as Jesse, I still felt protected. On the way in I kept my head down, and when I looked up, I was greeted with the faces of what seemed like thousands of people. Austin's arm dropped from my waist and he slipped his hand in mine, pulling me towards the realistic section. He guided me to a sketch of a girl, I know I've seen her somewhere before. Oh my god, Austin entered one of his sketches of me? I stood there, staring at it, awestruck with the beautiful lines that formed my image. Austin put his arm around my waist again and whispered in my ear.

-"Do you like it?"

I turned my body so that I was facing him. "It's amazing, but why me, why not one of your others?" I had to hear him say it, I had to know if he loved me.

He hesitated before answering me. "Because Casey, you're the best thing that has ever happened to me and I wanted to share this with you tonight." Ok, so does this mean he loves me or not? Uh, I'm so confused! I turned back towards the sketch and smiled and brought his arms around my shoulders, which he had no objections to. I let myself lean back into his warm embrace. We stood there for what felt like an eternity till he suggested we look at the other pieces in the exhibition. We only stayed in the Realism section, which did contain some amazing pieces, of course, nothing compared Austin's, but anyone in my position would say that, right?

We left about an hour before the show ended, and Austin drove us to the hotel. Turns out, all their double bed rooms were occupied or booked, so we had to get a room with on queen. This is going to be awkward. We decided it was better then nothing, so we took it, and went upstairs to change. I put on black skinny jeans, leather boots, one of my many gray thermals, and my favorite leather jacket. Austin wore Levi Originals and a chambray blue shirt unbuttoned with a plain white undershirt, and of course his favorite Chucks. We drove for about five minutes, until Austin pulled up in front of a karaoke bar.

"So, I assume you want me to sing tonight?"

-"That's the plan." He replied indignantly.

We walked in and sat down close to the stage, karaoke hadn't started yet, so we decided to order. I had a coke and the Salmon and Rock Shrimp Penne. He also had a coke, but had Basil Salmon Limone. Our food was at the table twenty minutes after we ordered. That was pretty fast considering how packed this place is tonight. Dinner was amazing, I don't think I've ever had that many flavors in my mouth at one time. By the time we finished, karaoke was starting, and I ended up singing fifth in the line up. I just hoped Austin realized I was talking about him in this song.

_Once upon a broken heart_

_I was walking alone in the dark_

_Looking for a way to start again_

_What I wouldn't give for a friend_

_There was no love in my life_

_There was no light in my eyes_

_All the tears that I had cried and cried_

_Seemed like they'd end_

I finished the song and smiled. I didn't announce who it was dedicated to or who it reminded me of or why I sang it, I just, sang. Austin of course, decided to sing one of my favorite songs, but I could tell it had a double meaning in it.

_If you only knew_

_I'm hanging by a thread_

_The web I spin for you_

_If you only knew I'd sacrifice_

_My beating heart_

_Before I'd lose you_

_I still hold onto the letters_

_You returned_

_I swear I've lived and learned_

I need to get out of here, now. I left the bar and stood on the frigid streets of Seattle.

So guys how'd you like it? I put the link to the sketch on my profile and here for those of you who are too lazy to check out my amazing sketch!

_**.com/albums/xx153/lila167/?action=view¤t;=&newest=1**_


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

Lips of an Angel

I stood on the sidewalk, tears trickled down my face. Austin took longer than I expected to leave the restaurant. "Sorry, I had to pay." He put his hands on my shoulders and he moved his thumbs against my scapula to comfort me. I turned so that I was facing him. He put his arms around me and I tucked my arms under his, grabbing onto him. I buried my face in his chest and hoped I wouldn't regret what I was about to do. I unwound myself from him and brought my hands to his cheeks. I caressed his cheekbones with my thumbs. I brought my face closer to his and brushed my nose gently across his jaw. And then, I panicked. Did I want this? Do I really and truly love him? Does he love me? I put my hands back on his shoulders to keep me from tipping over. I brought my lips up to his cheek and gave him a quick kiss, nothing that would insinuate that I wanted anything else. I pulled away, my head tipped forward, too nervous to look him in the eye. Before I got too far, Austin's hands gripped my shoulders, pulling me back to him. Once he was sure I wasn't going anywhere, he moved one hand to my chin and tilted my face towards his. "Casey, have you ever heard the saying, 'Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was choice, but falling in love with you I had no control over'?" He pulled away the pieces of hair that were in face and I felt his fingers ghost over my cheeks that were red from the cold and my embarrassment. His face came closer and closer to mine, I didn't know if this was what I wanted, but I really couldn't do much about it now. And then, his lips touched mine. They were soft and warm, soothing mine from the frigid night air. Even though we never went further than the brushing of our lips, I still felt a surge of electricity between us. It wasn't the same feeling I had when Jesse and I kissed, it was more powerful, stronger. That quick touch filled the hole in my heart but it could only be filled for a moment or so. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. I feel so free when I'm with Austin, I'm just so scared that something's going to go wrong and our relationship will be ruined forever. I still feel drawn to Jesse, I'm not denying that, but I don't love him the way I used to. There's still a part of me that can't let Jesse go, no matter how hard I try. I want to tell Austin the truth, about werewolves and vampires, at this point I have no doubt that the rest of the monsters and magic you hear in bedtime stories exist. Life would be so much easier, Austin would understand why I needed to see Jesse from time to time, I wouldn't have to worry about letting it slip when I was mad. I wish I could go back to the time when life was so much simpler, when I had no idea that werewolves or vampires existed. Back then I was living and easygoing, completely stoned lifestyle, and I had no problems with it. But soon, everything seemed to fade. I couldn't feel the warmth of Austin's lips, the touch of his skin. I was drifting away.

When my vision became clear again, I saw bright lights shinning all around me. They all pointed towards me. I felt the tautness of the cotton sheets beneath me and the rough blanket covering me. The room was freezing. I'm either in the hospital or in a room full of werewolves. It's the hospital. Definitely. The awful sheets and the bright lights all point to that conclusion. Okay, time to answer my three basic questions. Why am I here? That's obvious, I'm injured, or sick, or I work here and I'm taking a nap. It can't be the third one cause al the lights are on. What happened? Lets see, the last thing I remember was arguing with Jesse. Oh yeah, I made him mad, refused to move, he phased, and I got hurt. Typical me. Third question, when do I get out of this place? Well, I guess I'll have to ask the doctor that one, when I come to of course. I closed my eyes again but I couldn't go back to sleep. When I opened my eyes, everything was clearer than before. I could see the IV pole and vitals monitor on the right, and a small couch to the left. The walls were stark white and the floors were linoleum, giving the room a clean, functional appearance. I noticed the clamp on my finger. Ah, can't have the monitor without the sensor. I started pulling at it but a hand caught mine, and I looked up. I was to preoccupied with figuring out where I was that I didn't notice my mom sitting next to me.

Why is this so familiar? Oh God, here we go again!

I decided to resist the impulse to extract the IV that was securely stuck in and taped to my arm.

"I know, I know mom, 'don't take it out' blah, blah, blah...I know what happened, Jesse and I got into a fight he phased and clearly rendered me unconscious, and my left shoulder blade has a gaping wound in it. Did I miss anything?"

"Nope hun, thats about it."

"How's Jake handling this huge mess?"

"Well, what do you think? Luckily, he hasn't killed Jesse yet, actually they're outside now arguing, Jesse wants to see you, but you know Jake, no one, especially him is allowed in."

"Well that figures, but I would like to see Jesse, could try to convince Jake to let him visit?"

"I'll see what I can do." She pushed herself out of the seat and made her way towards the door. Seconds later, Jesse came rushing into my room, almost knocking over the IV pole. My hero.

"Hey you, how's life been? Oh, great, huh. Well, me too, I've been in a coma induced by my werewolf boyfriend, while in that said coma I had the best, almost reality, dream of my life. And guess what? Now I'm awake and my life is about to be screwed up all over again! Yeah, I'm just dandy! How the hell are you?" Smoke was practically coming out of my ears as chided him, I was really pissed of.

"I'm so sorry, Cassidy, I didn't mean any of that-I-I'm-I'm...so sorry-" I cut him off by slapping him across the face.

"Hey, shut up and kiss me." I forced my lips to his. At first his were unmoving, but he eventually he joined in. His lips heated up my cold, my recently stilled state had drained the blood and heat from my lips. I felt the familiar spark, the spark that started my blood boiling and my heart racing, but it wasn't as fast as it used to be. Something was missing, something wasn't right. I felt like I was kissing the wrong person, I wasn't supposed to be with Jesse. I pulled away.

"This is wrong," I whispered, looking at my knees, trying to figure out what was happening.

"Cassie, what do you mean, what are you saying?"

"I am saying, this is wrong, I'm not supposed to be with you, that kiss, it didn't feel right. Nothing feels right...can you call my mom in?" My statement started off firm but I ended up sounding like a wimp.

"Ye-yeah, sure." He walked out of the room, his skin paled a bit. I need to get out of here. The next thing I knew, mom was rushing through the door way, clearly she thought I was in danger because Jake came through the door right after, practically knocking her down in the process.

"What is it, what's wrong?" Jake screeched at me.

"Jees, what's wrong with you two? Just because I ask to see you guys doesn't mean I'm being attacked by a psycho killer, gosh, can't I want to talk without it being an emergency?"

Mom started first. "Well, if you want to talk, and if its not an emergency, then you want something... What is it?" Way to get right to the point mom.

"I need some clothes." I told her, in a demanding, do-this-now-or-I'll-bitch-out-on-all-of-you tone. Yeah, like this is gonna go over well.

"Hun, you're not going anywhere for a bit, you have the hospital gown." She just doesn't get it, does she?

"Yes, but I feel completely insecure right now, being that I only have this hospital gown on, and this is a really awkward conversation, so could somebody please get me some clothes?" My words came out through gritted teeth and got a little louder and more aggressive as I reached the end of my request.

"Fine...sure...clothes," mom whispered, obviously apprehensive with the thought of leaving me for slightest moment. She walked out of the room, followed by Jake, after he of course gave Jesse glare that was visibly a death sentence if he hurt me, again. Once Jake left the room, I looked at Jesse and gave that get-out-of-my-way-or-I'll-shot look.

"You too, Jesse." He seemed a bit shaken at the tone I spoke to him in.

"Bu...but, you don't want me to stay?" He asked, completely appalled.

"Uh, yeah, what did you think, I was gonna make out with you after I woke up from a perfect dream, into the harsh reality which is my life, unfortunately including you?" Was he this stupid? How could I not see it before? This guy is so stupid when it comes to me. Weren't we supposed to be perfect for each other?

Finally, he is now heading for the door. "Wait, could you hand me my iPod?" I noticed that it had been sitting and the arm chair next to the bed. He quickly retrieved it for me and hurried out of the room. Well, maybe I did put a little fear into him. I put the earbuds in a quickly flipped to my favorite song, almost perfect for the situation. I set it to repeat and rested my head back against the pillows, waiting for mom to return.

_If I die young, bury me in satin_

_Lay me down on a bed of roses_

_Sink me in a river, at dawn_

_Send me away with the words of a love song_

I contemplated my plan, the next steps I would take to get out of this hell hole and back to the real world; back to the place that felt like home; where I could completely be myself, where I had a person who was like me; who could understand me more than any other person I knew. My life was out of control, and hospitals just make it worse. It was time for me to be the change I desperately needed.

**¡Clava el destino!**

Now, I decide. No one, not even the **PTB **(gasp), will affect me anymore, it ends tonight. I can't be pushed around anymore. I never let anyone push me around till I moved to Forks, La Push to be exact. Life is so much better in a coma! Why are all my wants unattainable? Nothing has gone right since, oh, about NEVER!

In Boston, life was all about fun back then, now its a struggle to survive. I could feel fate pressing down on me at every angle and curve of my body. For so long I had let it crush me, but now I have to stop it. I have to push back. I am going to find Austin. He promised, that he'd always be there for me, but now, I can barely remember his face.

_I've never known the lovin' of a man_

_But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand_

_There's a boy here in town, says he'll love me forever_

_Who would have that forever could be severed _

_By the sharp knife of a short life_

So guys, how'd you like it? Sorry it took me so long, I didn't get enough reviews to give me enough inspiration! Please R/R!


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 31

Waiting for the Rain

So, here's chapter 31 for you guys. I didn't get many reviews for the last one so I'm hoping for AT LEAST 10!

_Playlist_

_Crash and Burn-Lifehouse_

_CPOV_

I sat in my hospital bed, gazing out the window. I thought about how effed up my life was. Now that I was almost permanently with Jesse I would have absolutely no way to leave La Push. If Austin hadn't been a beautiful figment of my imagination, we would be living in the city with opportunities laid out before us. Well, more opportunities than in Forks.

I quickly pressed "next" on my iPod, but, of course, my library is filled with depressing songs, so the next one didn't cheer me up, at all. "Crash and Burn" by Lifehouse flashed on the screen.

_All these lights are catching up to me_

_I just can't put insomnia to sleep_

_I close my eyes but all that I can see_

_Is someone who I'm never going to be_

I heard the noises of shoes on the linoleum floor heading towards my room. Mom came in holding a bag of clothes with Jake's arm around her waist. WTF?

"Whoa, whoa, whoa…hold up a sec. Are you two, like, together or something? Cause if you are, you better keep ANY signs of affection far away from me," I said in a firm voice once I got over the shock.

"Yes, we are together again." Jake smiles as I scowled at the two. Doesn't she know that by dating him she'll be tied down?

"Great, so my coma brought you two together. Happy to be of assistance, have a good day." I pause for a moment. "You two better not have not been trying to get a replacement for me while I was in the coma just in case I didn't make it." My face twisted in disgust. God, the thought of it…Mom quickly changed the subject.

"Do you need help getting to the bathroom?" I nodded, accepting her assistance. She brought the pole to the left side of the bed, lessening the distance I had to walk. As soon as I pulled off the finger clamp, all lines and stats disappeared from the monitor and alarms started buzzing. Just a typical day in the hospital. I made my way to the miniscule bathroom and started pulling at the ties of the hospital gown. I pulled on the UMD sweatpants and lifted the Special Olympics t-shirt over my head, doing the best I could to avoid the IV in my arm. I contemplated my plan, but I realized it was hopeless. Austin only exists in my mind, but I'm not ready to give up hope. He told me when he moved to Forks that the move did move him away from the art show, but even if he hadn't moved, he would enter. That's when I will find out if he exists in my world. It seems like a worthless theory, but its worth a shot, right?

_Silence just keeps screaming back at me_

_The ones I live are lost in memories_

_And I wish that I could take back what was done_

In the mean time, I'll spend time with Jesse.

I just don't want to forget those few memories of Austin that still linger.

Waiting won't be that bad right?

Just to let you know now…I was wrong, especially since days before the art show Jesse decided to make my life completely impossible.

Life will never be the same without him, although I wasn't really living life when he was around.

Six Months Later

Over the past few months I've clung onto the few memories of Austin that I have, but Jesse made it a bit difficult, exactly one week before the art show when I went to the bonfire with Jesse that would make my life worse.

So far mom and Jake have been going strong, but I can sense mom is hiding something from me because she starts repeating herself any time the two of us are alone. Jesse had been paying more and more attention to me, we'd gotten closer…well we hadn't been "physically" closer; we have a connection on more of an emotional level.

I sat down on the bed attempting to get my sweatpants on without tripping and breaking my neck. Ever since the accident, I developed a fetish for sweatpants…and boxers, they're just so comfy. I thought if I dressed grungier, like I didn't care, Jesse would be a little less prone to liking me. Unfortunately, the idea, and picture, of me wearing boxers is a turn on for Jesse. I pulled a green tank top over my head then collapsed back on the bed, thinking of an excuse to stay home, but I couldn't come up with any ideas. I guess I'll just have to grin and bear it.

I jumped down the stairs, skipping every other step. I immediately went to the movie case in search of _Ever After_; hopefully this would be a pick-me-up for my already depressing life. I quickly got sick of the movie and reached for my iPod. Once I found The Scripts, I pressed shuffle and leaned back into the couch, before I knew it, I was asleep.

I was startled awake by the sound of Jesse's car pulling into the driveway. I looked down at my flustered appearance. Apparently I had somehow ended up on the opposite end of the couch. I decided what the hell; I'll just make myself look decent for once. I trudged back upstairs telling mom, who was in the kitchen making five different flavored pies, that I was going to change, again. I switched most of my clothes in fact. I traded the tank top for a brown spaghetti strap shirt with small pleats at cleavage level. I swapped the sweatpants, without breaking my neck, for some nice jeans and slipped on my favorite UMD flip flops that I outgrew when I was eleven. I returned to the first floor where mom and Jake were holding pie pans at the door and Jesse was waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs. He smiled when he saw me, genuinely pleased that I had ditched the sweatpants and t-shirt look which forced me to fake a smile. We all headed out to the cars and I rode with Jesse after losing the battle with my mother to ride with her and Jacob. I was quiet most of the way, only replying to his questions and stories with one word responses, he seemed excited about something, this is not a good sign. When we got to the beach, his arm snaked around my waist and he led me to the crowd, did he really think i wasn't capable of doing anything on my own? I greeted everyone with quiet remarks and made my way over to the food, alone for once. Just as I was about to enjoy my food, Jesse came over and sat down beside me and asked if I wanted to go for a walk. I agreed only because I promised mom that I would try to develop feelings for him again, so far my mind had been completely stuck on Austin. We walked farther and farther down the beach, until we reached the forest line, there was a stump nearby which I automatically went to sit on, the last time we had bee alone down here I ended up in the hospital and I was not looking forward to a repeat of that. He stood where I left him for a minute looking like he was trying to decide if he should join me; he eventually did. When he sat down next to me, he began spouting romantic crap and pledging his undying love for me, which I hastily blocked out, but the four words that formed a question which he asked at the end of his speech brought my attention back to him.


	29. Chapter 29

I looked at Jesse in awe. Did he really just ask that? Have I shown any interest in marrying him over that past few months? I'm fifteen for crying out loud, and he hasn't even graduated yet! My age was only one of the variables in this equation, Austin was the other.

I was supposed to go to the gallery in a couple of days.

I was supposed to tell him that I dreamt about him while in a coma.

I was supposed to tell him that we were meant to be together.

I was supposed to tell him that I loved him.

Once I got over the shock and was able to form a sentence, that contained actual words, I gave Jesse a reply that he probably didn't want to hear. "Can I think about it?" I whispered keeping my head towards the ground. "Of course...yeah." He smiled but it was obvious that he was hurt. Thankfully he's the glass-half-full type of person. He understood that I hadn't said yes, but I hadn't said no either.

I got up as quickly as I had sat down and made my way back to the crowd. Mom and Jake were sitting close to the fire listening to Dylan trying to impress a girl singing his rendition of "Sexy Back" when I stomped past them, arms folded scowl on my face, with Jesse keeping his distance as he followed. Mom started the interrogation. "Are you okay hun?" My turned sharply towards her. "Oh of course mother, he just proposed, I'm just perfect right now," I answered her, making no attempt to hide the sarcasm in my voice. My mom stared at me in a look of disbelief which quickly turned into a death glare a Jake who shrugged trying to look innocent of all accused charges. She got up, dragging Jake along with her, and pulled Jesse far away from the crowd for a serious talk. I stuffed the car keys that she left on the bench into my pocket and made a bee line for the car. In the process of yanking the keys from my pocket I think I may have torn my pocket lining. I hastily messed with the buttons on the remote, searching for the unlock button, in the process I set of the car alarm and opened the trunk several times. Once I located the unlock button I threw open the door and slammed it behind me as quickly as I had opened it. I thrust my body forward, ramming the keys into the ignition but only turning them far enough to turn on the radio. I pulled myself into the backseat with my arms wrapped around my knees. "Whataya Want from Me" blasted through the speakers and tears started trickling down my cheeks and onto the upholstery; my breath came out in harsh pants. I sat there feeling sorry for myself for another fifteen minutes until mom opened the backseat door. "Hey baby," she whispered quietly. I threw myself into her arms and started balling; I didn't care anymore if people saw how weak I actually was.

How could he do this to me? Did he really expect me to say yes? Did he think I was ready for that type of commitment?

Jake climbed into the front seat, put the car in drive, and headed back to Forks. I stayed curled in my mother's arms until we got home. Jake got out and went to the other side of the car. He cradled me in his arms and I rested my head in his chest. They brought me upstairs to my room and tucked me in, not bothering to take off my clothes. They went back downstairs for about an hour but went to bed most likely after a long talk. They checked on me and I was somehow able to fool Jake into thinking I was asleep, or he chose not to out me. I waited another hour after the checked on me to reach for my stash under the bed that I haven't touched since two months before we left Boston.

I grabbed the small shoe box that I found after we moved to Forks. I restocked after we moved to Forks. I couldn't very well have taken my supplies on the plane with me. If we had driven had would've had a better chance of transporting it without getting caught.

My fingers searched blindly until I nicked my finger and felt that flicker of pain that only briefly lasts. I grabbed the cotton pads, Neosporin, and antiseptic wipes. I grabbed the small shred of my Venus razor blade. Even though it was a small sliver of part of one of the three blades it was sharp enough to help me. I pulled off my shirt and looked for the small puckered scars from the last time. At first I thought the blade hadn't cut; I hadn't felt enough pain. I dug the blade deeper into my skin, looking for a pain that never came. Yes, there was blood, but no pain. I took the blade and moved to my other shoulder, digging deeper and deeper, still finding no release. I brought the blade to my upper thigh and dug. I made sure that I only cut the top and outside of my thigh, avoiding my femoral artery and any major bleeding that would be difficult to cover up. No matter where I put the blade, I couldn't find release. I decided I did enough damage for one night and grabbed the cotton pads to wipe away some of the blood. I cleaned all the cuts with antiseptic wipes and dabbed them with Neosporin. I reached for my pack of Band Aids and covered as many of the cuts as I could. I stuffed the box back under my bed and went to my dresser. I grabbed sweatpants and a long sleeve shirt. I pulled back the sheet and climbed into my warm bed.


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30

Show Me, Save Me

"Mom, I'm headed to the drugstore." I exited the house without waiting for her reply. I tucked a house key in my jean pocket. I looked at the house next door, the house that should have been _his_ house; the 'Sold' sign loomed in the front yard, a reminder of the different paths my life could take once the house was occupied. I closed my eyes and took in the cool morning breeze, the slight wetness of the air…yeah; this weather is definitely a killjoy.

I walk through the automatic doors and heard the chime of the electric bell. Passing the Hallmark aisle I see crappy greeting cards and a display for Russell Stover chocolate boxes; maybe I'll stop here on my way to the checkout line. I search for my breakage-prone shampoo and head back to the checkout lane. I grab a four pack of batteries and a bag of butter mints.

I keep my head towards the ground as I turn the corner, big mistake. I bumped into a guy also trying to round the corner. During the crash we dropped our stocks and they mingled on the floor.

"Oh, I'm sorry about that," I said with bottom lip pulled against my teeth and my eyes creased in apology. I grabbed my belongings from the ground and looked up to assess my roadblock. I stared up into the hazy sea blue eyes that I had been missing for months. I smirked when I saw the same grin that he had given me the first time we met. I blushed a bit when he ran his fingers through his messy, melted dark chocolate hair.

"No problem, bumping into pretty girls doesn't bother me that much," he said, a smile playing on his face, "Plus, I was afraid I wouldn't meet anyone before I started school."

"Well, I should probably introduce myself then, I'm Cassidy." We shook hands and kept grinning at each other.

"I'm Austin; I take it you live around here?" _Why else would I come to this drugstore if I didn't live in the area?_

"Yeah, and I'm assuming that you just moved here," I said as I moved towards the red tape barrier.

"About five blocks away actually, 6926," he told me.

"Really? I'm 6928, I guess we're going to be neighbors," I said, trying not to sound too pleased with the developing situation. We grabbed our purchases and headed towards the doors.

"My mom and I moved in late last night, but I spent more of the night setting up my garage than I did with her in the house," he told me with a pleased look on his face. "Your garage?" I asked, even though I already knew the answer to that question.

"My mom let me have the garage for my art," he replied, "Do you want to check it out?"

"Sure, what kind of art?" I also knew the answer to this question.

"Mostly sketching, but I paint as well. I also write music," he told me. "Well, maybe you could play for me sometime," I suggested.

We walked in silence on the way to his garage. I was still in complete awe that Austin was here, standing next to me, breathing and living. I wasn't sure if we could have the same relationship we had had in my alternate reality. My hair formed a cyclone around as the wind blew in all directions. As we reached the large gap between our two houses he turned and planted himself in my pathway.

"I feel like I know you from somewhere, I'm sorry I just need to know, have I met you before?" he asked in an exasperated voice. _Gosh, he's getting worked up over nothing._

"Well, not exactly. A couple months ago I was in a coma and while I was in it I thought that it was reality. I met you while I was in the coma. I'm not sure why you would remember me," I explained quietly.

"Ok, I just need to be closer to you than is appropriate at the moment," he said as he took my hand and led me over to the garage. He flicked the light switch and moved his hand to my waist to usher me in. The layout was exactly the same as it was the last time I was here. The walls had less paintings and the space they weren't occupying was covered with posters of The Used and The Killers. I recognized the upright piano and the same navy blue sheets on the bed in the loft.

"Does it look like it did in your dream or your this-looks-real-but-it-isn't-because-I'm-in-a-coma-and-I-don't-know-it thing?" He asked me.

"Almost, but there were more drawings of me on the wall and your bed was covered in sheet music," I told him. I climbed into the loft and crashed onto the bed. I folded my hands across my chest and closed my eyes. I thought about the many hours I had spent on this bed, some of my happiest moments were spent on this bed. I recalled lying on our chests with textbooks spread around our bodies, leaning against the pillows discussing music and art, and my nickname for him. I felt the bed sag and the springs groan as he sat down next to me. I kicked off my shoes and leaned back into the perfectly fluffy pillows.

"It's so strange being here with you when you can't remember anything about the time we spent together," I told him, grinning as I spoke.

"Why don't you tell me what happened, maybe it will jog my memory," he said, sincerely wishing that he could remember.

I went into an elaborate portrayal of how we met; him stopping me in the hall on my first day back from my first concussion, his comments that annoyed the hell out of me but intrigued me at the same time. He laughed at my anecdotes that involved my less-than-flattering nicknames for him and our studying that lasted into the early hours of the morning, well, our sleep after studying lasted into the early hours of the morning. I ended our story just before the art show in Seattle. I looked around at the other sketches and paintings on the wall when I noticed the clock. I had been so absorbed with the guy sitting next to me, that I completely forgot the time was passing, I arrived at the garage several hours after sunrise and now it was almost sunset.

"Crap, why didn't you tell me what time it was?" I asked in a frustrated voice.

"What do you mean? It's only…shit, it is pretty late, and it's pouring outside," he said. The last thing on my mind was the weather.

"Clearly you haven't been here long if you are shocked by the quantity of rain, it rains six out of seven days here, and on the seventh day it's either fogy or there is a slight chance that it might one of the few sunny days that occur ten days out of the year," I told him, disgruntled by his obliviousness.

"Look, why don't you wait until some of this rain clears up?" he asked.

"Someone must've dropped you on your head as a child if you really think this rain will clear up anytime soon," I told him, still pissed off with his obstinacy.

"That's exactly why I suggested you stay…and I want you to stay," he grinned. _Wow, he hasn't changed much, still as forward as ever._

"Fine, but I'm only staying because I'm really not interested in getting soaked and possibly suffering _another_ concussion," I informed him.

"I wasn't suggesting anything besides that, unless…" he trailed off with a smirk on his face. I leaned over to smack his arm, but he moved and I somehow ended up collapsing on his chest, not the position I intended being in. I thought about the last time we had been this physically close. I remembered the standing on the sidewalk outside that karaoke bar in Seattle; I remembered wrapping my arms around my chest and the little episode I had while Austin paid the bill; I remembered his hands on my shoulders, my hand on his cheek; the place I wanted to be again, but fate had a habit of stepping in at the worst possible moments. I pulled myself from his chest but left our bodies touching; I wanted, needed some sort of contact with him. I closed my eyes for a second and then sat up. I felt Austin's hand on the small of my back as I ran my fingers through my hair. I lay on my side, facing away from him and tucked my hands under my head. He timidly stroked my waist, afraid that if he went any further I would shy away. When he noticed that I was awake he spoke to me.

"Why aren't you asleep?" He asked, I could hear the smile in his voice.

"I'm afraid that if I fall asleep I'll wake in my bed, or worse, the hospital, and you'll be gone again," I whispered to him, sounding more pathetic than I intended.

"That's not going to happen again, because I'm not going anywhere," he whispered. His hand receded from my side and I cringed at the loss of contact. His hand was replaced by the rest of his body as curled into my half-awake form. He wrapped one arm around my waist and rested his head on the other. I felt the heat of his breath on my neck and the warmth of his hand as it wrapped around mine. I closed my eyes and listened to the rain pounding on the tin roof. I didn't-couldn't fall asleep immediately with everything on my mind.

I had my savior back and I didn't want to sleep if it meant that I would lose him again when I woke up. I knew that if I lost him again, I would never be the same again. I would wind up marrying a guy I didn't love, suffocating in LaPush, and parenting too many children to count. I knew that I loved Jesse, just not in the same capacity or way that he loved me. I knew that he wouldn't be able to leave LaPush because of the pack, tribe loyalty bullshit that streamed out of the mouths' of the pack members and the elders. Jesse loved me and wanted me to be happy, but he didn't understand that being with him, living in LaPush was what made me unhappy; unless, he knew and didn't give a crap. I loved my mom and most of the people I had met in Forks and the surrounding area, but I knew that if I stayed I would have no hope of fulfilling any of my dreams. I was willing to drop everything and leave if it meant that I had Austin and the resources to achieve something commendable. I could only think of two possible outcomes in the situation. A: I stay, marry Jesse, and turn into an almost modern version of Betty Draper. B: Finish high school, and get far away from Washington with Austin. A is right; B is wrong, A is something I cannot stand; B is what I want with my entire being. If I went with A, I'd only hurt one person, possibly two; if I went with B I'd hurt a more substantial number of people. A would hurt only me, possibly Austin if cared for me as much as I cared for him. B would hurt too many people to count: Mom and Jake (possibly), Jesse (no doubt about that, the rest of his family (obviously), and the rest of the reservation (who should really mind their own business). The problem is that a year ago I was only looking out for number one, now I've gone all mushy and actually give a crap about other people's feelings; Jesse is to blame for these changes. In this situation, the only person I want to care for is Austin, but because Jesse turned me into a sensitive romantic, I have to think about how my decisions' affect others. Screw you Jesse, it's your fault that I still give a damn about your feelings. _I wonder if an exorcism would get him off my mind?_

I fumbled in Austin's lax arms in an attempt to face him. Pervious encounters in his bed reassured me that he would remain dreamland, the place I recently had trouble getting to. I pressed my head into his chest and sighed; he wasn't as hot as Jesse, but he would suffice. When the thunder cracked outside, I tensed up and pulled his body closer to mine thus stirring him, to my surprise.

"You okay?" He yawned as he stretched.

"I don't like thunder…or rain for that matter," I informed him. He sat up, leaning against the pillows and pulled me into his. He cradled me in his arms like a baby and stroked my hair.

When I fully took in what was going on I gave him a confused look, twisted with frustration, "I'm not _that_ scared of thunder," I told him as I straightened up and placed my forehead against his, "But thanks for the thought." I heard him mumble something, but it took me a few seconds to understand it.

_Wait, I'm wrong_

_Should have done better than this_

_Please, I'll be strong_

_I'm finding it hard to resist_

_So show me what I'm looking for_

I turned and put my head on his shoulder incase he was thinking about kissing me. He stroked my mangled hair and kissed my forehead. I felt one arm wrap around my waist and the other skimming my neck. When he reached my chin, he pressed his fingers against it, but I held still and refused to look at him. When I looked in his eyes I could see all the possibilities that I would have with him. When I looked into Jesse's eyes, I could only see the opportunities I would miss because of the attachment to his home. I knew that free will was hard to come by with his life, but from what I had been told imprints are of top priority. Clearly he was the exception to this statement; I knew that responsibility to his tribe would always come before me. I didn't want to be held down, I needed some sort of freedom that would be attainable come my eighteenth birthday.

"You know you're supposed to lift your head, right?" He smirked. I couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic, ignorance and uniformity were both reasonable in that situation.

"Oh I know, but you clearly don't know that it's one of the oldest clichéd actions in the book, and I really don't like clichés," I laughed.

"But sometimes they can't be avoided," he countered.

"Sorry to disappoint you, but this is one of those that should be avoided at all costs," I told him with my head in the same place it was when the conversation started.

"Well, sorry to disappoint _you_, but I'm not going to let you avoid it," he told me in a rather dominating tone. He thrust my neck up without much force, but enough to cause a lapse in the strength of my digastrics'. If it had been Jesse, my head might have been at the foot of the bed.

I looked Austin in the eye and scowled in disapprove, hoping that he would gracious enough to leave my lips alone. He brought our faces close so that our noses' were touching.

"I know you didn't finish the story of how your dream ended," he told me in a whisper.

"What do you mean?" I asked, trying to feign obliviousness.

"I mean you didn't finish telling me what happened between us," he said to me, implying that something more than friendship occurred between us.

"Nothing happened, it was just an innocent, almost kiss after an art show in Seattle," I informed him.

"Well, how was the kiss?" He asked, a little too impressed with himself.

"I can't answer that, I woke up right before it," I informed, hoping that he would back off. Then again, maybe I should have told him and he would have backed off, knowing that we had kissed. He paused and sat back.

"Why are you so opposed to kissing me?" He questioned. _This guy really doesn't give up_.

"I never said I was opposed, I just don't want to kiss you right now," I told him with hands folded in my lap.

"I guess you don't believe that there's no time like the present," he said, and then gently pushed me so that I was lying on the bed.

He leaned over me and stroked my cheek. I propped myself up on one elbow and put my hand on his neck.

"You know something," I said, "you're really pissing me off right now."

"Well, I was hoping for a more sincere comment, but I'll take what I can get," he told me as he leaned closer. _This guy really has no shame_.

"I am impressed with your confidence, but what makes you think I'll be giving anything?"

"Because you've wanted to kiss me since we bumped into each other at the drugstore," he informed, still impressed with his own people skills. I didn't respond to his self-righteous comment and continued stroking his neck.

"Is that a yes or a no?" He asked.

"What happened to your certainty? I thought you were all-knowing?" I asked n a voice full of wonder and awe.

"I never said I knew everything," he informed me.

"Well you certainly act like it, but I will forgive you if you agree that your comment about me wanting to kiss you is entirely false," I told him.

"How about a compromise, I will take back what I said about you wanting to kiss me when we bumped into each other, but you have agree that you wouldn't like anything more than to kiss me now," he suggested.

"Nope, deal's off," I canceled as soon as he finished.

"You don't have to be afraid to admit it," he promised me as he brushed a strand of hair from my face.

"You just think you're so charming, don't you?"

"I know I'm charming," he announced, leaning closer to me.

"You're not going to stop persuading me, right?" I asked him.

"Of course not, I've been waiting far too long for this," he told me. I couldn't believe the next sentence that came out of my mouth.

"Yeah, twelve hours, I'd be going crazy too. I'll make a deal, one kiss and then you don't come within three feet of me," I proposed.

"Like I said before, I'll take what I can get," he told as he brought us closer together, if that was even possible.

I felt the heat of his hand on my neck and his soft cheek pressed against mine. His soft lips pressed against my resistant ones. I could not deny that his lips felt amazing against mine, but that did not mean I could not forbear from kissing him back. The kiss was gentle, but it had a detrimental effect on my self-control.

I assumed that he would give up if I refrained from kissing him, but sadly that was not the case. He continued to coax a response from my lips for two minutes until he pulled away in frustration.

"Why aren't you kissing me?" He asked in an exasperated voice.

"Because that wasn't part of our deal," I reminded him; although, it was taking all the strength I had to keep myself from attacking to the guy hovering over me. "Believe me, you have no idea how temp-," I tried to explain, but was interrupted.

"Oh, so you were just refusing? So if I keep going you'll give in?" He asked most likely for his own benefit. I didn't have time to think of or give a logical response because his lips were once again pressed to mine. This kiss was so much unlike the first one. This time Austin was not nearly as gentle as before. His tongue glided along the closed space between my lips, hoping that I would yield. When I didn't, he decided that he had given me enough chances to submit and separated my lips to give his tongue access to my mouth.

What I did next was completely opposed by a part of me, but another knew that it wasn't everyday that I had a guy wanting to kiss me so enthusiastically, so I should take advantage of the situation.

I threaded one hand through his hair and placed the other on the nape of his neck. He paused for a second, stunned by my reaction. He quickly overcame the shock and continued where he left off. He brought his hands to my waist and stroked the skin just below the hemline of my shirt. I pulled away so that the side of my face rested on his bed; I forgot that by doing that he would still have access to the other half of my face. He peppered kisses from my cheek to the valley of my neck.

"We have to stop," I panted in a strained voice. I didn't expect his next action. I was prepared to force him off of me if he refused to listen to me.

Instead, he rolled over so that I was on top. He brushed away the hair that was stuck on my forehead.

I smiled at him, "Oh, so now you listen to me," I complained.

"I thought it would be unfair to you if I didn't stop," he told me.

"Why is this reason kicking in now," I groaned.

"You did what I asked, so I did what you asked, do I need to explain this differently?" He asked with one eyebrow raised.

"Hey, you're the one who shut down my central nervous system!" I defended.

"I'm assuming you have no complaints then?" He asked, still too bloated with pride to show any humility what so ever. I smacked his arm and he wrapped his arms around me. We fell asleep together with or feet by the pillows and our heads against the end board.


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

Close Your Eyes And Listen

Guys, I am so so sorry for not updating sooner, I have no excuse. I'll just fill you guys in. I am now at boarding school for creative writing (I may have said this before and everything is so crazy, I have so many things to do for my writing classes, lots and lots of revising!

Special shout out to Erica-Elizabeth-Bradley, you convinced me to finish up this chapter!

I'm not sure what should happen so many many ideas are welcomed!

You know that feeling you have, when you wake up somewhere that looks strangely, almost too strangely, familiar but you just can't figure it out? Well, I had that exact same feeling when I woke up. I immediately knew I wasn't in my room; I mean, come on, who forgets what their own room looks like? If it had not been for the warm body pressed against me, I would've guessed that I was, once again, in the hospital.

The memories of the day, and night, before came rushing back. I remembered meeting Austin at the drugstore, our silent walk, the hours we spent laughing on his bed, his annoying persistence, and the _amazing_ kiss (make out session) that we shared the night before. The one thought that hadn't passed my mind last was, "Oh shit, I am so screwed when I get home." At this point I've passed 'screwed' and reached 'dead meat' by staying out all night, alone with a guy (other than my 'soul mate'). It's not like I packed a bag and drove to Seattle without informing someone; I'm practically at home anyway, well I'm close to the property line.

I struggled to free myself from Austin's clutches, but accidently stirred him in the process. He strengthened his grip on my waist as I continued to struggle.

"Where do you think you're going?" Ha asked me, still thinking he was king of the world.

"Home. I'm in for some serious shit when I get home, I've been gone for twenty-four hours, my mom probably thinks I was kidnapped, or at least my grandfather thinks I've been kidnapped," I told, still trying to break free. _This guy maybe hot, but he really thinks too much of himself!_

"No, you'll be fine; besides, I still want you all to myself. Is that too much to ask?" He said to me.

"Well, you never had me all to yourself and you never will. And to answer your question, it is too much to ask," I replied, still struggling in his grasp.

"For the past twenty-four plus hours I have, why does now change anything?" He asked me.

"Well, the fact that you are now holding me captive. You do know that false imprisonment is a criminal offense, right?" I questioned, still trying to free myself from his iron grasp.

"I don't think so, there's mutual consent here," he informed me, a little too graciously.

"Mutual consent my ass, I never said I wanted to be here," I said as I turned to look at him, or spit in his face, I wasn't quite sure yet.

"The signs you were giving me last night proved otherwise," he enlightened me with a smug look on his face.

"I don't care if I stripped for you. Get this into your thick head: last night meant absolutely nothing to me," I knew that statement was completely fictitious, but hey, there's no rule that says I can't try.

"Is that an offer? If it is I except," he said, a little too enthusiastically.

"No, and it never will be pervert," I answered, disgusted by bluntness.

"I think I can change your mind," he voiced as he leaned closer, as if that was possible, to me. Luckily, I was able to adjust so that his lips intercepted my hand instead of my own mouth.

"Not so fast, buddy, I'm not going to kiss you again, just yet," I told him. _Why the fuck did I just say that? I fucking need to kiss him right now! Why does my stupid pride always get in the way?_

"Hey, I've got all the time in the world, but I'd prefer some kissing sooner than later," he answered arrogantly.

"Shut up, degenerate, and let me go," I tried pushing myself away from him again to no avail.

"Come on, one kiss than I'll let you go, same deal as last night, which I might add, you proposed," he reminded me.

"Bad idea. Last night I let one moment of weakness fuel some sick infatuation you have with me. If I give in again who knows what will happen next?" I hypothesized.

"Well, why don't we find out?" He leaned closer to me, but this time I didn't block him, which was really stupid of me. _I noticed that recently I have been making some really fucked up decisions._

The placidness of this kiss fell somewhere in between the two we shared the night before. It wasn't as racy or animalistic as the second but is was far from the sincere as the first; then again, the first wouldn't necessarily fall under the 'sincere' category. 'Sincere' would be more like a beck on the cheek; after some rethinking, I believe the first kiss is closer to 'Gracious' than it is to 'Sincere.'

His lips caught mine in a heated caught mine in a heated kiss. I felt his hands hastily stroke the skin where my shirt had ridden up. All of the attention he was giving me made me submit to my desires. I had already been kissing him, but I decided to give my sexual appetite free range. My hands moved up his arms, to his broad shoulders, and finally ended up tangled in his hair. He turned us so that I was under him, again. His hands reached farther up my body than they did the night before.

And then, I stopped. I didn't pull away, but I didn't encourage him further. When he noticed my lack of response, he pulled away just enough that I was able to lean my head on his chest with my arms wrapped around his torso.

"I'm sorry," he whispered to me.

"No problem, I don't really care that much at this point," I laughed, "But I _really_ have to go now, I am so screwed, you have no idea."

"Casey, your parents are going to understand, stop freaking out," he said.

"Really? Really? Yeah, they're gonna be so cool with the fact that I slept with a complete stranger," I said.

"According to your account I'm not a complete stranger."

"Maybe not to me, but you sure are a fucking stranger to them," I reminded him.

I sat up on the bed and turned to reach my shoes sitting on the floor besides us. Bending down, I felt the back of my shirt rise and Austin's hand on the small of my back.

"Nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-no. Hands to yourself, mister."

"Well, what if I don't want to? What if I told you that I loved the feel of your soft skin?" He moved to the edge of my bed so that his head hovered just above my shoulder. I could feel his warm breath against my ear.

"What if I said that I loved your laugh and your frown when you get frustrated with me? What if I said that I loved the way your lips felt against mine?" His lips glided up my neck and he caught my earlobe in between his lips. I closed my eyes and placed my hand on his cheek.


	32. Chapter 32

Sorry for not updating sooner, I've been preoccupied with "Rope Burns and Cigarette Scars," "Of Chlorine and Dramamine," and "Aquarius Boy" (title pending). For any of the writers out there, you know what I'm going through. Cutting passages from your stories is like sawing off limbs from your child with a rusty knife.

PS: I'm apologizing in advanced for all the questions I insert. I've been going through this phase recently, my latest story is plastered with questions, but I think I amputated most of them!

I leaned into Austin's body. He grazed my earlobes with his teeth, occasionally nipping at it. My right hand caressed his cheek and the left was resting on his thigh.

Too many thoughts were swarming through my head. _Should I go through with this? If there was anything to go through with? _For some reason, it didn't feel like the innocent make out sessions we had had before. Something about this one was different.

Was it what he said to me before? Was that what was making me so horny? Or, had I been horny all along and the fact that his groin was now pressed against my back?

"Wait," I whispered. He paused. I moved so that he was lying back on the bed and I was straddling his waist. He seemed a bit stunned, which was probably a good thing because I got off the bed and grabbed my shoes. I climbed down the ladder, hoping that my speed would not affect my stability.

I ignored the squishy mud beneath my sock-covered feet and continued to run across the yard. For some reason, standing, running, in the rain felt exhilarating. I know that sounds corny but it's true. I wonder what it will be like when it snows?

I ran to my front door and twisted the knob, in case it was open. And it was. And there was my mom sitting on the couch with Jake pacing the floor looking agitated.

"Where the hell have you been?" Mom shouted, springing off the couch.

"Just…out."

"For more than twenty-four hours?" Shouted Jake.

"Yeah, I stayed with Austin. We were talking most of the day and didn't notice how bad the rain was. He convinced me to stay."

"Who's Austin?" Mom asked.

"He just moved next door. But I already knew him. He was in my coma dream, you know, like what happened to Booth…Except mine came true a bit faster." I said the last part while biting the inside of my lip, with my eyes raised, pondering the idea.

_You don't know me _

_And you don't even care, oh yeah_

_And you said, you don't know me _

_And you don't wear my chains_

"At this point, whom you were with doesn't mat-,"I cut Jake off.

"Really? Really? Like you would've cared if I had spent the night with Jesse! Fuck, you would have been pleased if I had been with Jesse! It seems that all anyone cares about is me and Jesse shacking up and having puppies!" I shouted.

"Wait! Hold up one second! You and Jesse having sex is the last thing I want! I just want you to be happy!" Jake said.

"Well if you want me to be happy stay the fuck out of my life!" I shouted before walking towards the front door. I paused before slamming it shut. "And stop trying to be my father! I don't want one and I don't need one!"

I ran through the mud without my shoes, again, back to Austin's garage. Jake had no rite to be my father. He had never been in my life and now wasn't the time to start. I shoved open the garage door. Austin was sitting at the piano, filling in notes on blank sheet music paper. I ran my fingers through my wet hair.

"I can't go back," I whispered. Austin left the piano bench and walked over to me. He me took me into his arms. His hands ran up and down my back. I could feel his warm breath against my ear. "Let's lay down," he said. I followed obediently up the ladder.

_In the light of the sun_

_Is there anyone? Oh, it has begun_

_Oh dear, you look so lost_

_Your eyes are red, the tears are shed _

_This world you must have crossed, you said_

He pulled back the newly made sheets. I began to pull off my top. "Whoa, I didn't mean anything like that."

"What? You still think I'm going to have sex with you?"

"Well yo-."

"I am not going to sleep in wet clothes," I said while tugging off my jeans.

"I can see that," he said before pulling off his shirt.

"You're clothes aren't wet! Put your shirt back on."

"Hey, I'm not one for inequality."

"Well, inequality does not pertain to the state of one's…claditity," I told him.

"You do know that 'claditity' isn't a word, right?"

"Of course I know that, dumbass. I wasn't able to think of another word." I lay down. He still refused to put his shirt back on. He climbed into bed and wrapped one hand around my waist, pulling me closer. He brushed my hair out of my face.

"What am I going to do, Austin?"

"First, you're going to let me kiss you, without putting up a fight. Second, you are going to sleep. Third, I will hold you all night. Fourth ignore the fact that everything going on may seem like a blood-soaked, nightmarish hellscape."

"Ron Swanson, nice touch. You really know how to sweet-talk a girl. But back to the point. What am I going to do in the morning?"

"Let's take this one step at a time. For now, we'll worry about tonight. And the first step tonight is for you to kiss me."

I rolled my eyes. _Would kissing him be a good thing? Or would it destroy our relationship, of less than forty-eight hours?_ Well I'd already kissed him once…or twice. One more wouldn't hurt, right?

I cupped my hand around the back of his neck. He felt feverish. I wasn't sure if it was from an ailment or our proximity. He tightened his grip around my waist. He closed his eyes and moved his head closer to mine. I followed in a similar fashion. For one second his lips were against mine and a second later they were gone. I hadn't expected it to last that short. He had been the one taking up outstandingly long periods of my time in order to kiss me. I thought he would've taken advantage of my weakness because I wasn't planning on letting myself be that vulnerable in front of him again. He kissed my forehead and closed his eyes. I did the same.


End file.
